Four Addictions that destroy your dreams
The Four Addictions (by Tom Ferry)
I've discovered four addictions we all have that destroy more dreams, more hopes and more lives than alcohol, drugs, food, gambling or sex combined. When I refer to addictions, I am not focused on any of these. To me, those are habitual symptoms or effects brought on by four much larger causes that are the root cause of those symptoms.
They are:
1) The Addiction to opinions of other people. As a society, we're addicted to what others think about us and how others' views of the world affect us.
2) The Addiction to drama. Some people are drawn to and consumed by any event or situation that occupies their thoughts and fills their mind with negativity, which often brings attention to them in unproductive ways.
3) The Addiction to the past. These people have an unhealthy attachment to events or situations that have occurred in the past. They're stuck in how things used to be.
4) The Addiction to worry. This addiction is comprised of all the negative and self-defeating thoughts that make us anxious, disturbed, upset and stressed, that hold us back in life.
Too bad that I make up for my lack of drama with worry... ;)
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Our consult w/Dr. David
Though it seems like forever ago (that's how great the Grand Geneva was), we had our phone consult with Dr. Sami David just yesterday. And since we ran off right after, I'm just now organizing our notes of all that we discussed. For background on how I came to find him, read this post. If you are not familiar with him or his book, you can check out his website, but in short he was the very first RE to perform IVF in NY, and he was spent his career since trying to help couples exhaust diagnostic options before turning to IVF.
So after multiple rescheduling on both sides, we finally sat down to talk yesterday morning. He was overall not impressed with my first RE (good start). He was very impressed that my new RE was not only concerned about my septum, but removed it. He also liked her latest regimen of low dose Follistim, IUI, and Crinone. But since I had just received my negative beta, this didn't work (at least on the first try).
We talked about everything, well all that can be talked about in an hour. I had sent my 50+ pages of medical records to him several wks ago and he had obviously reviewed them thoroughly. Plus he asked us a million questions. He is concerned about implantation failure on my side (a reason he was pleased that I had asked for a P4 test and been put on Crinone), given some of pg symptoms I've had while we've been TTC (but always getting AF on time). He also said that I should be tested after I begin Crinone again to see if it's actually getting absorbed adequately, and if not switch to another kind of P4 supplement. We also talked about why my P4 might be low. Stress suppresses P4, so we'll see what we can do about that. Also the "endorphin rush" from exercise also suppresses P4, so I need to make sure I don't get in "the zone" when I exercise, which hasn't been a problem lately. ;) Sleep deprivation can also cause low P4. He recommended taking Quietude, a homeopathic sleep aid, to help me sleep through more of the night. And also to practice relaxation exercises, which I've been very lax about doing. He was very happy that I've been doing acupuncture.
He was also concerned that I'm not getting enough vitamin D based on what's in my PNV. And while I'd love just to get sunshine therapy, he recommended taking another supplement of 1000IU.
On the SA front, he was not satisfied with the one that we had done last April. Based on the evaluation, he deduced that it was not correctly performed. Our RE had just told us to go to the local hospital's lab, but he told us to either have a new specialty lab perform one or overnight a sample to him in NY. Sending it to his lab would be sufficient because he is concerned about the shape rather than the motility, so even if they are all dead, he can still find what he is looking for. He is also concerned that the WBC count was high. This could be influenced by natural contamination (from producing the sample hours after showering at the lab instead of at home just after showering). But he said he sees so many people who are struggling to TTC, when their problem is really a low grade infection, that it really needs to be tested. He wants the SA to test for simple bacteria, urea plasma, and mycoplasma. This he would treat with antibiotics (which while they are routinely given for IVF, the tests are seldom done on anyone before IVF...)
On a similar front, he wants me to be get a cervical mucus culture for bacteria as well. So I'll be asking my RE to go in around O time when there will be plenty to test.
If none of these tests turn up anything, he suggested possibly sperm antibody testing (in case I'm allergic to S's swimmers or he is (??)). Finally he would consider doing a laproscopy before pursuing IVF.
He recommended not cycling this month, since we did last month. He thought I should give my ovaries a break and take the month to get all of our additional testing done. I have yet to talk to my RE, but since AF showed yesterday, it doesn't look like we'll be getting CD3 testing done (on Sunday) or stimming as early as we did last month. She also didn't convey what dosage she wanted me to use this month, just that it would be higher, when her nurse called with my beta results. So, I guess I might just be taking June off...
I have to say that Dr. David was even nicer and more down to earth than I even imagined from reading his book. On a related note, I have to say I tear up when REs remind me how young I am and that I have a good decade of "fertile years" left, since I don't feel this way 99% of the time. They are used to seeing women who are much older than me most of the time, I guess.
So I've decided a few things over the last few days... We probably aren't doing IVF in July/August and I'm taking some time off the boards. So if you don't see me around, I'm thinking of you, but taking some time to focus on getting my act together.
So after multiple rescheduling on both sides, we finally sat down to talk yesterday morning. He was overall not impressed with my first RE (good start). He was very impressed that my new RE was not only concerned about my septum, but removed it. He also liked her latest regimen of low dose Follistim, IUI, and Crinone. But since I had just received my negative beta, this didn't work (at least on the first try).
We talked about everything, well all that can be talked about in an hour. I had sent my 50+ pages of medical records to him several wks ago and he had obviously reviewed them thoroughly. Plus he asked us a million questions. He is concerned about implantation failure on my side (a reason he was pleased that I had asked for a P4 test and been put on Crinone), given some of pg symptoms I've had while we've been TTC (but always getting AF on time). He also said that I should be tested after I begin Crinone again to see if it's actually getting absorbed adequately, and if not switch to another kind of P4 supplement. We also talked about why my P4 might be low. Stress suppresses P4, so we'll see what we can do about that. Also the "endorphin rush" from exercise also suppresses P4, so I need to make sure I don't get in "the zone" when I exercise, which hasn't been a problem lately. ;) Sleep deprivation can also cause low P4. He recommended taking Quietude, a homeopathic sleep aid, to help me sleep through more of the night. And also to practice relaxation exercises, which I've been very lax about doing. He was very happy that I've been doing acupuncture.
He was also concerned that I'm not getting enough vitamin D based on what's in my PNV. And while I'd love just to get sunshine therapy, he recommended taking another supplement of 1000IU.
On the SA front, he was not satisfied with the one that we had done last April. Based on the evaluation, he deduced that it was not correctly performed. Our RE had just told us to go to the local hospital's lab, but he told us to either have a new specialty lab perform one or overnight a sample to him in NY. Sending it to his lab would be sufficient because he is concerned about the shape rather than the motility, so even if they are all dead, he can still find what he is looking for. He is also concerned that the WBC count was high. This could be influenced by natural contamination (from producing the sample hours after showering at the lab instead of at home just after showering). But he said he sees so many people who are struggling to TTC, when their problem is really a low grade infection, that it really needs to be tested. He wants the SA to test for simple bacteria, urea plasma, and mycoplasma. This he would treat with antibiotics (which while they are routinely given for IVF, the tests are seldom done on anyone before IVF...)
On a similar front, he wants me to be get a cervical mucus culture for bacteria as well. So I'll be asking my RE to go in around O time when there will be plenty to test.
If none of these tests turn up anything, he suggested possibly sperm antibody testing (in case I'm allergic to S's swimmers or he is (??)). Finally he would consider doing a laproscopy before pursuing IVF.
He recommended not cycling this month, since we did last month. He thought I should give my ovaries a break and take the month to get all of our additional testing done. I have yet to talk to my RE, but since AF showed yesterday, it doesn't look like we'll be getting CD3 testing done (on Sunday) or stimming as early as we did last month. She also didn't convey what dosage she wanted me to use this month, just that it would be higher, when her nurse called with my beta results. So, I guess I might just be taking June off...
I have to say that Dr. David was even nicer and more down to earth than I even imagined from reading his book. On a related note, I have to say I tear up when REs remind me how young I am and that I have a good decade of "fertile years" left, since I don't feel this way 99% of the time. They are used to seeing women who are much older than me most of the time, I guess.
So I've decided a few things over the last few days... We probably aren't doing IVF in July/August and I'm taking some time off the boards. So if you don't see me around, I'm thinking of you, but taking some time to focus on getting my act together.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
BFFN
So not at all a surprise, my nurse (the nice one) was more upset on the phone than I was. My RE wants me to try a higher dose of Follistim next month to see if we can get more follies growing.
I know this is all just a shitty game of chance, but after waiting six months to cycle again, it's a huge blow. So it now seems unlikely that it was my huge septum that was keeping us from getting pg all those many months, or the CC/my E2, or low P4, or the polyp, or our timing...
WTF is wrong with me? What I wouldn't give to know something, anything. We have our phone consult w/Dr. David tomorrow, so we'll see what ideas he has to offer. I'm going to NYC for work in a few weeks, so I may try to get in to see him, depending on what he says.
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend! I'll be drinking enough for all of us...
I know this is all just a shitty game of chance, but after waiting six months to cycle again, it's a huge blow. So it now seems unlikely that it was my huge septum that was keeping us from getting pg all those many months, or the CC/my E2, or low P4, or the polyp, or our timing...
WTF is wrong with me? What I wouldn't give to know something, anything. We have our phone consult w/Dr. David tomorrow, so we'll see what ideas he has to offer. I'm going to NYC for work in a few weeks, so I may try to get in to see him, depending on what he says.
Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend! I'll be drinking enough for all of us...
Off to Beta
All tests so far have been negative, so my first ever beta is not looking very promising. AF would be due today if I wasn't on P4. Will post an update later. Lord help me if they wait until 4 to call w/results...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
QOTD
"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!"
-attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson
-attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Grouper
To borrow from Ben Franklin, I think "(grouper) is proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy". :) I love that fish! Had a great dinner with the NY team last night and as always, I just couldn't resist. When I'm in FL, I have it every day. For those as concerned w/overfishing as I am, I don't eat it very often.
Today it's hotter in Chicago than it is in Miami. And my pee stick is still stark white @ 10dpiui.
Monday, May 24, 2010
What a way to start off the week (sensitivity warning)
I should just stop reading all together...
IF and Autism. This seems like a shitty study to me.
Alarming Rise in Maternal Death Rates
IF and Autism. This seems like a shitty study to me.
Alarming Rise in Maternal Death Rates
Weekend Update
So I'm still/already peeing and hoping. It's 9dpiui/11dptrig. Beta is on Thursday, which is the earliest I've ever had scheduled (not that I've ever even made it to my previous ones :(). Not sure if that's because of the holiday weekend or if they are factoring in my 12dLP, but either way the countdown has begun. I'm still feeling fine. Having some little flitty twinges in my ute the last day or so. Not cramps, but kind of funny feeling. Good news is AF won't just show up, since I'm on P4. This was a little weird last month.
S and I had a nice weekend. It was really warm here, it felt like summer (a really hot summer). We had his annual work party on Saturday night, which was lame as usual (a bunch of civil engineers @ a cheesy banquet hall) and I couldn't drink to make up for it. He was brand new at last year's party and I only know a few of his co-workers. I love his boss, one of our FWB (friends w/a boat ;)). He's a very nice guy.
We fortunately had an excuse to leave early, as a friend of mine in the city was having a party. Sadly, it was a going away party. :( I should be used to this by now, but nearly all my friends end up leaving Chicago. Almost always for NYC or San Fran. Ally & Chris are moving to Seattle, after deciding to buy there rather than rent in San Fran (where she is working). She just put in for a transfer of home office w/Deloitte (which was immediately approved) and he works from home as he trades for the Board. Easy, shmeasy. I wish it was so easy for us to just pick up and move. They are very sweet and I will so miss them (and the amazing parties at their gorgeous place in the city). Another friend is leaving later this summer to go to grad school in New Haven. I doubt that she will move back to Chicago when she is done, though Ally did after going to the KSG. We all met when we worked together about seven years ago in the city.
Sunday I had a nice GTG with some girls from the Bump. Great to hear that C was chosen for the Balancing Point acu study, she is sweet. We had fun joking about Dr. C., who is completely hysterical.
We finally have solid plans for the holiday weekend. S and I are taking Friday and going up to Lake Geneva and staying at the Grand Geneva. I'm excited to try it out, since we've already been to the other resort there, The Abbey, for our honeymoon (part one). Check out the cool bathroom (tv in the mirror)...
Meanwhile, my sister J and her boyfriend are meeting at our house (he lives in MN and she temporarily in OH) for the weekend, so we'll see them when we return on Saturday. If it's like it was yesterday, we'll probably spend most of the weekend just sitting by the pool...
S and I had a nice weekend. It was really warm here, it felt like summer (a really hot summer). We had his annual work party on Saturday night, which was lame as usual (a bunch of civil engineers @ a cheesy banquet hall) and I couldn't drink to make up for it. He was brand new at last year's party and I only know a few of his co-workers. I love his boss, one of our FWB (friends w/a boat ;)). He's a very nice guy.
We fortunately had an excuse to leave early, as a friend of mine in the city was having a party. Sadly, it was a going away party. :( I should be used to this by now, but nearly all my friends end up leaving Chicago. Almost always for NYC or San Fran. Ally & Chris are moving to Seattle, after deciding to buy there rather than rent in San Fran (where she is working). She just put in for a transfer of home office w/Deloitte (which was immediately approved) and he works from home as he trades for the Board. Easy, shmeasy. I wish it was so easy for us to just pick up and move. They are very sweet and I will so miss them (and the amazing parties at their gorgeous place in the city). Another friend is leaving later this summer to go to grad school in New Haven. I doubt that she will move back to Chicago when she is done, though Ally did after going to the KSG. We all met when we worked together about seven years ago in the city.
Sunday I had a nice GTG with some girls from the Bump. Great to hear that C was chosen for the Balancing Point acu study, she is sweet. We had fun joking about Dr. C., who is completely hysterical.
We finally have solid plans for the holiday weekend. S and I are taking Friday and going up to Lake Geneva and staying at the Grand Geneva. I'm excited to try it out, since we've already been to the other resort there, The Abbey, for our honeymoon (part one). Check out the cool bathroom (tv in the mirror)...
Meanwhile, my sister J and her boyfriend are meeting at our house (he lives in MN and she temporarily in OH) for the weekend, so we'll see them when we return on Saturday. If it's like it was yesterday, we'll probably spend most of the weekend just sitting by the pool...
Friday, May 21, 2010
Maps!
I have always loved maps. I can study them for hours. And today OKL is lovingly obliging with these giclee prints. Enjoy! :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
How do they do it?
I've often wondered how the geniuses at Reisenthel make such inexpensive (& adorable) bags. They are the ones behind these great baskets (which I got in red several years ago).
I also have/love their bottle shopper (in kiwi) and their storage boxes (in baroque).
The Container Store now carries many of their products and with their latest travel sale here are some goodies...
Baroque Allrounder tote/duffle ($20-$30)
Expandable Shoppers ($14-$22)
other eco-friendlies...
Medallion Tote (by Ann Millie, $9)
And some little bitties...
Medallion travel bags ($3-$5)
Yoga eco pouch (from yoga mat scraps, $15)
I also have/love their bottle shopper (in kiwi) and their storage boxes (in baroque).
The Container Store now carries many of their products and with their latest travel sale here are some goodies...
Baroque Allrounder tote/duffle ($20-$30)
Expandable Shoppers ($14-$22)other eco-friendlies...
Medallion Tote (by Ann Millie, $9)And some little bitties...
Medallion travel bags ($3-$5)
Yoga eco pouch (from yoga mat scraps, $15)
My 100th post! (update)
And it’s the four month anniversary of this here blog this week. :)
Today is a busy day. S and I have our phone consult with Dr. Sami David this afternoon. I bought his book Making Babies last fall when I was despairing under the care of our first RE. His (and his co-author, Jill Blakeway’s) recommendations helped give me the knowledge (& courage) to walk away when my first RE wanted to jump right to IVF after our first two failed IUI’s. (For background, this undoubtedly would have been a complete disaster. When my new RE ordered an MRI, we found out that nearly my entire uterus was taken up by a fibrous septum which RE #1 didn’t investigate after she found it or think was a problem unless I was having multiple m/c. Take about being proactive.)
I also started yoga and acupuncture at Pulling Down the Moon in an attempt to help balance my wacky hormones and as means of relaxation (I do realize the latter is not the reason I’m not getting pg).
But the timing is a little odd since we have just started injects (w/our latest RE) and are only a few days away from testing in what is undoubtedly my best cycle ever. But we made the appointment LAST YEAR and moved it once because of my septum surgery in January and were hoping the timing would be just right, but then I had long cycles the last several months. Anywho, very excited to see what he has to say about the lengthy medical history I sent him. (Our appt. got moved to next Fri. as the Dr. was stuck in surgery. I'm disappointed, but it'll be perfect timing.)
Tonight I am headed into the city for a Women & Co/Oprah Magazine event on “Reinventing Yourself” at the Sofitel, which is a great hotel. I’m sure there will be all sorts of fun goodies, great food, and hopefully useful advice (since at 33, I’m still trying to figure out what I really want to be when I grow up).
Stay tuned!
Today is a busy day. S and I have our phone consult with Dr. Sami David this afternoon. I bought his book Making Babies last fall when I was despairing under the care of our first RE. His (and his co-author, Jill Blakeway’s) recommendations helped give me the knowledge (& courage) to walk away when my first RE wanted to jump right to IVF after our first two failed IUI’s. (For background, this undoubtedly would have been a complete disaster. When my new RE ordered an MRI, we found out that nearly my entire uterus was taken up by a fibrous septum which RE #1 didn’t investigate after she found it or think was a problem unless I was having multiple m/c. Take about being proactive.)
I also started yoga and acupuncture at Pulling Down the Moon in an attempt to help balance my wacky hormones and as means of relaxation (I do realize the latter is not the reason I’m not getting pg).
But the timing is a little odd since we have just started injects (w/our latest RE) and are only a few days away from testing in what is undoubtedly my best cycle ever. But we made the appointment LAST YEAR and moved it once because of my septum surgery in January and were hoping the timing would be just right, but then I had long cycles the last several months. Anywho, very excited to see what he has to say about the lengthy medical history I sent him. (Our appt. got moved to next Fri. as the Dr. was stuck in surgery. I'm disappointed, but it'll be perfect timing.)
Tonight I am headed into the city for a Women & Co/Oprah Magazine event on “Reinventing Yourself” at the Sofitel, which is a great hotel. I’m sure there will be all sorts of fun goodies, great food, and hopefully useful advice (since at 33, I’m still trying to figure out what I really want to be when I grow up).
Stay tuned!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I won!
Last week, I entered a giveaway on Leah's blog, Deliciously Determined, and I won! It's for $40 towards anything my heart desires at CSN stores.com. I've been on the look out for a new dining room light for awhile now and thought this would be a good use of the $. But then I see that there are over 10K (!!) different pendants and 8K chandeliers (!!) to choose from on the site. Tyranny of choice, anyone? I'll be sure to give an update when I choose a light or one of the other million plus items that they carry. ;) Hope this is a sign that my luck is turning...
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Adventures in IF update
I tested this morning. Of course it's only 5dptrig and 3dpiui, but I was curious if my trigger was gone. It is. So now we wait until next weekend (if I can handle it) to test for reals.
I'm having some issues with my Crinone. I started it late last cycle and was on it for a week without any problems. This month, starting yesterday, it's a mess. I wonder if there is something different about my body on meds that it won't stay in. I'm feeling like I have octomom vag (a bit loose, if you know what I mean). Yesterday, I felt like I was sitting in a puddle (even w/a pantiliner). This morning it didn't even wait for that, it all just came out in the toilet when I went about two hours after I put it in (way in). So I shot up again. We'll see how this goes... :|
I'm having some issues with my Crinone. I started it late last cycle and was on it for a week without any problems. This month, starting yesterday, it's a mess. I wonder if there is something different about my body on meds that it won't stay in. I'm feeling like I have octomom vag (a bit loose, if you know what I mean). Yesterday, I felt like I was sitting in a puddle (even w/a pantiliner). This morning it didn't even wait for that, it all just came out in the toilet when I went about two hours after I put it in (way in). So I shot up again. We'll see how this goes... :|
Got the blues
So when I say I like anything/everything blue, I'm really not joking... And in my catalogue surfing recently, I've found quite a few lovlies.
Gypsy tunic from Title Nine
It says it's purple, but it looks blue to me...
And from Cambria Cove... (how have I not been getting this catalogue all my life?)
Greek key calling cards
Navy dot calling cards
And the ones I fell for first, and of course they are the most expensive...
Gold scroll on navy calling cards
and last, but not least...
Fresh Market Insulated Tote in Blue cane
Isn't that just the cutest? The monogram patch (it's probably cheesey to monogram a grocery bag, but so cute!) is sold separately here.
Gypsy tunic from Title Nine
It says it's purple, but it looks blue to me...And from Cambria Cove... (how have I not been getting this catalogue all my life?)
Greek key calling cards
Navy dot calling cards
And the ones I fell for first, and of course they are the most expensive...
Gold scroll on navy calling cards
and last, but not least...
Fresh Market Insulated Tote in Blue cane
Isn't that just the cutest? The monogram patch (it's probably cheesey to monogram a grocery bag, but so cute!) is sold separately here.
Memorial Day Weekend
It's just three posts below, but I've been looking for somewhere for us to go for Memorial Day weekend since my beta is next Thursday (see here). A bit last minute, but now I'm really at a loss.
S is already off next Friday, so if I take the day, it's a four day weekend. We got an invite from S's boss yesterday to join him on his sailboat for a Saturday morning sail :).
Monroe Harbor
And S likes to do the Bike the Drive on Sunday. But I am dying to get out of town. We had been going somewhere fun every two to three months until I changed jobs last October. Not counting trips home (which I don't count as a break), after Montreal in September we've only been to Park City since then. I had been looking forward to AA's last minute saver fares, but they came out this morning and the list of cities from Chicago (Chattanooga, Cincinnati, Green Bay, Kalamazoo, and Rochester, MN) is not real awe inspiring. We could stay local and drive to Lake Geneva or Michigan, but the traffic will be horrendous. Worst case scenario we will stay over in the city...
S is already off next Friday, so if I take the day, it's a four day weekend. We got an invite from S's boss yesterday to join him on his sailboat for a Saturday morning sail :).
Monroe Harbor
And S likes to do the Bike the Drive on Sunday. But I am dying to get out of town. We had been going somewhere fun every two to three months until I changed jobs last October. Not counting trips home (which I don't count as a break), after Montreal in September we've only been to Park City since then. I had been looking forward to AA's last minute saver fares, but they came out this morning and the list of cities from Chicago (Chattanooga, Cincinnati, Green Bay, Kalamazoo, and Rochester, MN) is not real awe inspiring. We could stay local and drive to Lake Geneva or Michigan, but the traffic will be horrendous. Worst case scenario we will stay over in the city...
Saturday, May 15, 2010
IUI #3 done
Well this morning was another interesting one... We left the house at about eight, so that we would have plenty of time to get into the city and get S's collection done by nine. That went off without a hitch, but then we waited, and waited, and waited some more. I was supposed to have my IUI at 10, but it ended up being nearly 11:30. S had run to Starbucks, since we were both starving at that point, so they brought him back while I was doing my post-IUI horizontal wait. So I completely missed the kid's Ravinia event in the city that I was hoping to at least catch the end of. Oh well...
Part of what took so long is that they were backed up, the downtown office is huge and even for a weekend there were what seemed like a lot of couples in there. It hurt more than I remember and now I'm spotting. Blah. I have an acu appt. this afternoon, so I followed half of her advice (the other was to have a session right before). That seemed a bit much, so I'm just going once and hope it helps with the cramping. If I can stand it, I will probably wait until next Sunday or so to test.
Part of what took so long is that they were backed up, the downtown office is huge and even for a weekend there were what seemed like a lot of couples in there. It hurt more than I remember and now I'm spotting. Blah. I have an acu appt. this afternoon, so I followed half of her advice (the other was to have a session right before). That seemed a bit much, so I'm just going once and hope it helps with the cramping. If I can stand it, I will probably wait until next Sunday or so to test.
Friday, May 14, 2010
A lake house
Enough with the tweet-like posts, we need some pictures. After our super exciting day in the city tomorrow (IUI #3, yay!), S and I are spending Sunday in Lake County. He is doing a bike ride (which I will probably skip, he always does it with an old buddy of his), while I am heading over to the lake region to look at real estate. I am probably crazy, but this one I'm really liking. It's a rehab on Lake Marie (part of the chain of lakes), so it's about an hour from our house.
I should know better by now, but I love that big old tree out front... and window boxes.
The water view from the back deck
view from the kitchen
kitchen
2 beds up and one down, back bedroom
front bedroom (master)
back of house
It's like a blank slate waiting to be filled, and we already have a whole house's worth of extra furniture.
I should know better by now, but I love that big old tree out front... and window boxes.The water view from the back deck
view from the kitchen
kitchen
2 beds up and one down, back bedroom
front bedroom (master)
back of house
It's like a blank slate waiting to be filled, and we already have a whole house's worth of extra furniture.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
We have a plan
My LH is only 7.8, so my little follie is not super eager yet. I trigger tonight and my IUI is on Saturday at 10am. Beta is on 5/27. Now I just need to figure out what the heck we are doing for Memorial Day weekend (and we are not staying in town again so S can "bike the (freaking) drive"), so that I can either sufficiently celebrate or drown my sorrows as appropriate. ;)
Up in the air
I now have one lovely 20mm, with all other follies much smaller. I am waiting now to hear if our IUI will be tomorrow or Saturday based on my LH levels. ::tap, tap, tap:: I hate waiting.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Blast from the Past...
Elysian Lobby Chandie (love!)S and I had a lovely time in the city last weekend, as I wrote about here.
Funny thing though, when we went to the Elysian for dessert and caps, we ran into an old friend of mine, who is the GM at their restaurant, Ria.
B is my age and was the GM at North Pond Restaurant when I was a hostess there (& lived across the street) in 2003. I was working in consulting by day and hostessing every night to pay for having moved back to Boston in 2002 to work in non-profit development (oh the joyful first few years out of college). We got along very well (he’s a political junkie like me, and a former Hill staffer), but our main connection, besides him being my boss, was that he was the childhood best friend and roommate of my boyfriend at the time (who besides being an actor, was also the bartender at NP). So incestuous and stereotypical, I know.
I left NP later in 2003 to go to law school (which I ended up changing my mind about, unfortunately only after having taken the LSAT). He left at the same time to go to grad school in Madison. A (the bf) and I dated well into 2004, when I realized I needed to get my shit together, we took “a break”, I went from contractor to FT at the consulting firm, and I had a disastrous long distance relationship with a guy I met at my 5 year college reunion. Anywho, so things with the bf didn’t end the way he wanted and the last time I saw either of them (after spending ridiculous amounts of time w/them at work and at their coach house) was around the time I met S. So it was a little strange to introduce him to my husband, though it has been six years...
But he was very gracious and I will likely reach out to him (at some point) to see how A is doing and for help finding S’s brother V a job in the industry when we eventually get him a visa to come over from Dubai (where he manages catering at the Le Meridien Hotel).
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Turning it up
Just heard back from the Dr. that she wants me to up my Follistim dose to 100IU/day for tonight and tomorrow and return on Thursday for my next u/s. By then I should be ready to trigger and then have my IUI on Saturday. I am so freaking excited! :)
Follie update
My u/s this morning went well (I was in and out in 15 mins. w/bw!). I have one dominant follie (a 15mm) and quite a few others in the 6-9mm range. This is good! But I'm not quite ready yet. Waiting to hear back from the Dr. on what she wants to do, probably a bit more stimming (I'm on day 7 of stims) and when to trigger. Have appts. for the next two mornings, but I may have to go downtown on Sat. am if that is when my IUI falls, which is not a big deal. More to come... :)
No go
Nothing is a sure thing anymore... The acu/fertility study that I supposedly was "chosen" for has just notified me that I will not be a part of this study wave. For background, I wrote about it here and here and here. My guess is that they were put off by the 50 pages of medical records that I sent to them after my consult. Or maybe they think I'm on the cusp of a breakthrough and don't want to bias their data. ;)
Monday, May 10, 2010
Mint.com
If you haven't yet, I highly recommend you check out Mint.com. It is a great (free!) money management website that I wanted to start using long ago, but unfortunately our credit union did not link to the site. That is until recently. Now I have all our bank accounts, most of our loans, investments, and our credit cards linked up to the site. You can set up e-mails to remind you to make payments, budgets for individual categories, track spending, etc., etc. It's a very easy way to look at all of your money in one place. Happy Minting! :)
Good feeling/feeling good this cycle
I have a good feeling this cycle. Maybe because I feel so good. I am amazed (especially after the latest Clomid debacle) at how good I feel on the Follistim. I'm on a low dose (50IU), which may be why I'm not having any s/e, but it is working. I already have four follies (more than on either of my previous medicated cycles) without the crummy Clomid s/e. I go in tomorrow morning for my next u/s, and they think I might be ready to trigger (it'll only be CD 10). So my IUI could be as early as Thursday (CD12), unless I'm not quite ready and need to stim more (or heaven forbid I have too many). I also didn't have any s/e on the Crinone last cycle, which I will be taking again in the 2ww.
I am prepared to fail. You get good at this when dealing with IF as long as I have been. But I just have a good feeling that even if we are not successful this month, we are getting closer. :)
I am prepared to fail. You get good at this when dealing with IF as long as I have been. But I just have a good feeling that even if we are not successful this month, we are getting closer. :)
Friday, May 7, 2010
City weekend (update)
New update on my follies. I had my first u/s this morning (it's only CD6) and they are growing. Two 9's on one side and a 9 and 7 on the other. Staying on the Follistim and going back again on Tuesday (for a possible trigger on CD10!).
S and I are headed to the city this weekend, like I talked about here. Instead of splurging on the Elysian at $250/night (even though that was an amazing discount), and skipping over the new Kimpton, The Palomar, at $129 (incl. pkg.). We went to our most favorite friend, Hotwire.com to get a 4 star on the Mag Mile. So we are staying at the Hyatt Regency for $73/night. Not bad, it's very nice and we've stayed there several times before. We are trying a new restaurant, Zocalo for dinner and going to the Elysian for dessert. Happy Weekend! :)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A slight change of plans...
Based on the plan that my RE laid out with us yesterday morning, I started Clomid 100mg last night. All was good until about 3:30 am this morning when I woke up in excruciating pain. This continued for several hours, unabated, until the Tylenol kicked in. You know you are sucking the big fat IF when you find yourself Googling OHSS at four in the morning. Other lovely s/e: nausea, diarrhea, chills. Give me night sweats any day of the week. Pure hell.
So after e-mailing and calling my RE, I heard back today that we are just skipping the Clomid (good call) and going right to the Follistim, now at 50IU. After laying down $400 and skimming all the elaborate directions, I figured it out well enough to get it done. Going in Friday am for monitoring. Hoping to get a bit more sleep tonight...
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Gratuitous cutie pic
My adorable niece @ 16 months...
This sweet girl is thriving after going through what we still can't really fathom. At her four month check-up (the same day as my first RE visit), her ped referred her to Mayo as he feared that she had a cranial problem. She was subsequently diagnosed with craniosynostosis (her skull bones had fused prematurely). She then had major surgery at seven months, where her entire skull (from forehead to nap, ear to ear) was completely removed, pieces separated, re-shaped, and put back together like a puzzle. She is smart as a whip and we are all just hoping and praying she doesn't have to have any more surgery.
Nat before the surgery...
Catalogue finds
It's catalogue season here at the S household, and I thought I'd share a few finds that have my eyes...
West Elm modular shelf ($99 for two)
In white for the family room...
PB Coir Knot Mat (only $19!)
Garnet Hill Tile Quilt and Sham ($38-$188) cute w/Fiesta Blue Sky Stencil percale sheets ($10-$69)
West Elm modular shelf ($99 for two)
In white for the family room...
PB Coir Knot Mat (only $19!)
Garnet Hill Tile Quilt and Sham ($38-$188) cute w/Fiesta Blue Sky Stencil percale sheets ($10-$69)
Back on the hamster wheel
So after another ridiculously long (~45 min.) wait at the RE this morning, we had our consult. Since we weren't able to get pg on our own the last two months since the septum's been out, she wants me to take Clomid 100mg and Follistim 75IU, followed by an IUI and Crinone. She still doesn't think we need IVF. It just happens to be CD3, so I also got my baseline u/s and bw done. I start Clomid tonight and start monitoring next Thursday.
She thinks we should try this for another FOUR months before even considering moving on. I'm not sure if I'll last that long. We'll see... We also have our phone consult with Dr. David in two weeks to see if he has any new ideas.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Cycle 20, CD 2... T - 1 to RE mtg.
Just finished out a 35 day cycle, which is an extra week long for me. I was so excited to get my P4 supps, but they didn't bother to tell me when to stop them(surprised?). So I gave my favorite nurse a call last week and she said if I am pg to continue, but if not or get AF, then to stop. So I was due Friday and actually tested for the first time in awhile, since I didn't really know what was going on. I didn't feel like AF was coming, probably bc of the supps. Since I wasn't pg, I stopped, since I figured AF probably wouldn't come unless I did and I'm ready to get on with this.
So yesterday, as I was getting ready for my nephew's baptism (oh the layers of cruel irony), she finally reared her head. I have to say though that whether it's the acupuncture or the septum removal she is not nearly as painful as she used to be. Some comfort, I guess.
We have our big pow-wow with the current (and possibly outgoing) RE tomorrow AM. Now that my lovely birth defect has been removed, we are focusing now on hormonal issues. I first had them run over a year ago and my RE didn't say anything about them being off. I come to find out from my medical records that my initial E2 level was <10 (!!), but instead of saying or doing anything about this, she insisted on putting me on Clomid, which according to my current RE is the LAST thing I should have been on (it's an anti-estrogen).
Now because of my own research and insistence on being tested, I know I also have low P4. These are the two main hormones that control female fertility. The crazy thing is I get regular periods and bleed like crazy, so something is sort of working in there, but not quite. I do have a long follicular phase (which should have been addressed by one of my RE's before now) and a short luteal phase. Both of these are being treated by my acupuncturist, rather than by my RE's (who seem to be oblivious). But we are not fooling around anymore. I'm not big on drugs, but if there is something that needs to be fixed, then by all means. I'm going to ask for yet another run of my CD3 tests tomorrow and if I should be on E2 therapy. We are going to fix this and we going to do it NOW.
So yesterday, as I was getting ready for my nephew's baptism (oh the layers of cruel irony), she finally reared her head. I have to say though that whether it's the acupuncture or the septum removal she is not nearly as painful as she used to be. Some comfort, I guess.
We have our big pow-wow with the current (and possibly outgoing) RE tomorrow AM. Now that my lovely birth defect has been removed, we are focusing now on hormonal issues. I first had them run over a year ago and my RE didn't say anything about them being off. I come to find out from my medical records that my initial E2 level was <10 (!!), but instead of saying or doing anything about this, she insisted on putting me on Clomid, which according to my current RE is the LAST thing I should have been on (it's an anti-estrogen).
Now because of my own research and insistence on being tested, I know I also have low P4. These are the two main hormones that control female fertility. The crazy thing is I get regular periods and bleed like crazy, so something is sort of working in there, but not quite. I do have a long follicular phase (which should have been addressed by one of my RE's before now) and a short luteal phase. Both of these are being treated by my acupuncturist, rather than by my RE's (who seem to be oblivious). But we are not fooling around anymore. I'm not big on drugs, but if there is something that needs to be fixed, then by all means. I'm going to ask for yet another run of my CD3 tests tomorrow and if I should be on E2 therapy. We are going to fix this and we going to do it NOW.