It's been busy around here lately; trying to get settled back in, get well, get caught up at home, work and school (I should be doing homework right now), and get my head back in the game. I've recently decided that I'm going to embrace our burden. Let me explain.
I've spent countless hours seriously contemplating and recontemplating my life goals, my marriage, my career, my desire to become a parent, everything. This is what IF does to you and you know what? It's not a wholly terrible thing. You know what they say about the unexamined life. And where I've come out on the other side is that I am right where I'm supposed to be right now. It sure feels like purgatory, but you know I wouldn't change places with any of my sisters.
Not the one with a million friends who's facing down cancer, not the beautiful one with three kids under four, not the rich one who can live in NYC and work part time as a restaurant reviewer, and not the brilliant one who even with her MS degree is having trouble finding a job in her field.
We have good jobs, a good marriage, good friends, and a nice home. Like my uncle recently said when he was visiting, "(we) are living the American dream". I thought more like the American nightmare. But this too shall pass. We will have the family we were meant to have. Obviously not on our timeline, maybe not even with our blood lines, but someday someone will call us Mom and Dad. And that will be enough.
Great outlook.
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