In the spirit of positivity, I'm not going to focus on the things that didn't get done this year. Because honestly, our lives are an embarrassment of riches and I have enough sense to know what is and is not important. Just two years ago I could not have imagined we'd be where we are now.
As momentous as last year was for us, (me leaving my job, us getting pg (again), then nearly losing the babies (again), spending Aug-Dec in bed, and welcoming our two healthy, but tiny bundles), this year was big in so many smaller ways. Extended bed rest is not the easiest way to transition from life as a working girl to that of a stay at home mom, though while being a full time caregiver/mother to twins (with a post-BR body, carpal tunnel, shingles, etc.) you have very little time to do much else but survive rather than to dwell on what you are not doing.
Most importantly, the kids are thankfully thriving and happy (most of the time). They are both so amazing and different. It has been a true gift to be able to watch them both grow and learn so much this year, even though I've learned that I don't think I am one of those women who was born to be a stay at home mom and physically I'm in such sad shape that they kick my ass on a regular basis. Mari finally got her first tooth (on Christmas) with several more in the works and he also has several new ones emerging or near. We are finally finished with both our breastfeeding/pumping regimen and with decorating their separate bigger kid rooms (pics to come), which we moved them to in the spring. We ended up not doing a lot of formal activities this year given my deference to and the dominance of their schedule and the fact that our pedi gave us reassurance that it was all unnecessary, but we look forward to that next year.
Nearly all of our ventures out of town were for extended family this year, as we pretty much opted out of elective travel for the obvious logistical reasons. We were up in WI for Abbie's baptism in April and again, but to Lake Geneva this time, in May for Mother's Day. We went to OH later in May to celebrate my grandmother's 90th b-day. We were up in WI again while DH went to India in June and then again for Thanksgiving. We were going to go on a family (just the four of us) vaca over the twins' b-day and Christmas since DH has two weeks off, but we decided that it would easier to try to go away after we were completely done with pumping and party planning and the kids are a little bigger, probably in the spring. We spent a quiet Christmas at home (best decision ever).
Given our time went primarily to the kids this year, most of our goals that weren't kid related, were money related, so you'll likely find it a bore unless you are looking for tips from this Indian engineer and (not a home) economist.
We paid off DH's car and paid further ahead on mine. We had invested the money we would have spent when we bought both new in late 2009 (when the market was in the toilet) and financed them at a low rate, giving our retirement accounts a nice bump from the margin.
We are in the process of refinancing the house (again), back to a 15 fixed rate. This is the third (and hopefully the last) time in seven years we've refied (can you tell I don't feel like moving?), first to go from a 7 yr ARM (see seven yr plan) to a 15 yr, then we ended up back to a 30 yr fixed when I left my job (out of an over abundance of financial caution since we were not yet pg again, out of IF coverage, and had never lived on half our household income). We are very happy to lock in a near 2% rate, which is a full three points lower than where we started and two lower than our previous refis. It is finally low enough to justify rolling in the small HELOC (so no subordination this time, thank goodness) we got when we first started doing our major home renos, and never paid off due to IF, so we'll now just have one payment only slightly larger than the ones before (not including the loss in tax ded), but paid off much much sooner, saving us a crazy amount on interest. DH wants to have whatever house we are in to be paid off by the time the kids go off to college, though he has no plans to retire. I however do, and my plan is to not die in this house.
We opened and funded 529s for each of the kids and set up new larger 20 yr term life insurance policies to ensure that even if something were to happen to one or both of us before they are grown, that a tragedy would not be a financial hindrance to them getting whatever education they are interested in attaining without having to beg, steal and borrow to get it as neither of us are counting on large inheritances.
We fully funded an IRA for me (for 2011) in the spring (since I had no 401K contributions this year) and increased DH's funding of his 401K. Since I turned down the many offers of freelance work this year and had no individual earned income, we are now only eligible to make a spousal IRA contribution for me until I decide to work again.
We finally had our old deck removed and had a new brick patio installed. We upgraded our dishwasher (which I love) and replaced our washing machine (again). I thank goodness daily that we did the all the work we did to the house when we did (pre-kids) so we can focus on them and other things, but lament that we didn't do it all, given the uncertainty in our lives back then. Even the few days of work outside was disruptive enough that upcoming major renos (the kitchen and master bath) are not getting done while we are home. They will wait until the kids are out of the house during the day or when we are on vaca or something.
For 2013:
I need to decide when/if/how I am going back to work and in turn we'll need to find a child care solution that has eluded us so far, one of several reasons why I continue to turn down freelance work, despite repeated requests from the firms I contract with and a surprising number of other opportunities. A major issue with my freelance work (much of it at home) is that you basically need to have full time availability for clients, even if you are only working part time hours. This would be more doable if I was just scheduling work around cycling (which was why I initially left my job) and another entirely if you need to have responsible sitters basically on call to watch your twin babies. And since I was pumping this year, I honestly just decided I didn't want to add more stuff to the mix. Win for the kids, loss for the bank account, welcome to parenthood.
My MIL was set to return in late January again, though now that BIL/SIL are expecting next summer, that may or may not happen. If/when she does, she will likely do mostly the cooking that she loves so much and help out like she did when she was here before.
If I were to/when I do go back to work full-time outside the home, we've talked about what we think would be best for the kids and I think we've decided that a high quality out of home child care/Montessori school program might be best for their learning and socialization, though it would be more work for us and a nanny would offer more flexibility. Though with MIL here for a part of each year, it doesn't make a lot of sense to have her not be able to see them during the day, since that is a big part of the reason why she is here. Being limited to Hindi/Marahti speaking nannies is just that, limiting, (even though where we live there are a disproportionately high number of Indians) and even though she is lovely and I would eliminate the communication issue, the dynamic of MIL and the nanny could potentially complicate matters, as thankful as we are to have her spend time with us. If we had a second guest room, I would have already just hired an au pair.
We've decided to make the move back to an HSA eligible health plan for next year. We've had them in the past, through my job and then DH's, and they are awesome when you are young and/or healthy, but we've been on DH's PPO for the last few years due to their rich benefits and (now exhausted) IF coverage, our "issues" getting and staying pg, and since the twins had not yet been born when we had to choose last year. I will never get over the irony of all the money we spent to get pregnant, but all the surgeries (including my emergency CS and cerc) and hospital stays (including four days in a sweet suite) cost us a few hundred dollars.
Between the premium savings, his employer HSA contribution, and what we usually put in an FSA (which is now limited) we will have funded the total family OOP max in our HSA account, though you are able to fund up to a total of $6450/yr pre-tax as a family in lieu of an FSA (unless you want to fund a vision/dental only FSA, like I did for my Lasik in '07 in preparation for babies). What we don't use will roll over to meet the needs of future years, and can be invested in the hopes of earning more than a few percent. All preventative care/immunizations/well child care is covered at 100% with no co-pay, so we'll actually save money vs/ this year for all of that. HSAs are supposed to be about empowerment and accountability, but in reality they are sadly really about rewarding both healthy people and investment firms, cost shifting and tax shelters, but I digress.
When I go back to work, besides obviously child care, our financial goals remain: finish paying off my car (if still outstanding), max out all: retirement savings (401K & IRA), HSA, child care accounts and 529 accounts, and save some more.
I am also gym shopping now that we are done pumping and the kids are bigger. I learned the childcare at the Y is closed in the afternoons, so that is out. A new gym opening near us this spring has closed circuit TV so you can watch your kids on your machine while you are working out, which is perfect for the overprotective and paranoid, like me, though I don't want to wait that long to get busy. Another new one has free childcare, but it seems like it isn't something that should be free, though I guess that is an incentive to go frequently. My last gym was at my last job and before that I was at a very nice, yet very oversubscribed one nearby that I'd like to avoid if at all possible.
My focus for the new year is an attempt at balance. I'll need all the luck I can get.
Onward and Upward! Happy 2013!!!
As momentous as last year was for us, (me leaving my job, us getting pg (again), then nearly losing the babies (again), spending Aug-Dec in bed, and welcoming our two healthy, but tiny bundles), this year was big in so many smaller ways. Extended bed rest is not the easiest way to transition from life as a working girl to that of a stay at home mom, though while being a full time caregiver/mother to twins (with a post-BR body, carpal tunnel, shingles, etc.) you have very little time to do much else but survive rather than to dwell on what you are not doing.
@ 11 months
Guess who's the alpha baby?
Nearly all of our ventures out of town were for extended family this year, as we pretty much opted out of elective travel for the obvious logistical reasons. We were up in WI for Abbie's baptism in April and again, but to Lake Geneva this time, in May for Mother's Day. We went to OH later in May to celebrate my grandmother's 90th b-day. We were up in WI again while DH went to India in June and then again for Thanksgiving. We were going to go on a family (just the four of us) vaca over the twins' b-day and Christmas since DH has two weeks off, but we decided that it would easier to try to go away after we were completely done with pumping and party planning and the kids are a little bigger, probably in the spring. We spent a quiet Christmas at home (best decision ever).
Given our time went primarily to the kids this year, most of our goals that weren't kid related, were money related, so you'll likely find it a bore unless you are looking for tips from this Indian engineer and (not a home) economist.
We paid off DH's car and paid further ahead on mine. We had invested the money we would have spent when we bought both new in late 2009 (when the market was in the toilet) and financed them at a low rate, giving our retirement accounts a nice bump from the margin.
We are in the process of refinancing the house (again), back to a 15 fixed rate. This is the third (and hopefully the last) time in seven years we've refied (can you tell I don't feel like moving?), first to go from a 7 yr ARM (see seven yr plan) to a 15 yr, then we ended up back to a 30 yr fixed when I left my job (out of an over abundance of financial caution since we were not yet pg again, out of IF coverage, and had never lived on half our household income). We are very happy to lock in a near 2% rate, which is a full three points lower than where we started and two lower than our previous refis. It is finally low enough to justify rolling in the small HELOC (so no subordination this time, thank goodness) we got when we first started doing our major home renos, and never paid off due to IF, so we'll now just have one payment only slightly larger than the ones before (not including the loss in tax ded), but paid off much much sooner, saving us a crazy amount on interest. DH wants to have whatever house we are in to be paid off by the time the kids go off to college, though he has no plans to retire. I however do, and my plan is to not die in this house.
We opened and funded 529s for each of the kids and set up new larger 20 yr term life insurance policies to ensure that even if something were to happen to one or both of us before they are grown, that a tragedy would not be a financial hindrance to them getting whatever education they are interested in attaining without having to beg, steal and borrow to get it as neither of us are counting on large inheritances.
We fully funded an IRA for me (for 2011) in the spring (since I had no 401K contributions this year) and increased DH's funding of his 401K. Since I turned down the many offers of freelance work this year and had no individual earned income, we are now only eligible to make a spousal IRA contribution for me until I decide to work again.
We finally had our old deck removed and had a new brick patio installed. We upgraded our dishwasher (which I love) and replaced our washing machine (again). I thank goodness daily that we did the all the work we did to the house when we did (pre-kids) so we can focus on them and other things, but lament that we didn't do it all, given the uncertainty in our lives back then. Even the few days of work outside was disruptive enough that upcoming major renos (the kitchen and master bath) are not getting done while we are home. They will wait until the kids are out of the house during the day or when we are on vaca or something.
For 2013:
I need to decide when/if/how I am going back to work and in turn we'll need to find a child care solution that has eluded us so far, one of several reasons why I continue to turn down freelance work, despite repeated requests from the firms I contract with and a surprising number of other opportunities. A major issue with my freelance work (much of it at home) is that you basically need to have full time availability for clients, even if you are only working part time hours. This would be more doable if I was just scheduling work around cycling (which was why I initially left my job) and another entirely if you need to have responsible sitters basically on call to watch your twin babies. And since I was pumping this year, I honestly just decided I didn't want to add more stuff to the mix. Win for the kids, loss for the bank account, welcome to parenthood.
My MIL was set to return in late January again, though now that BIL/SIL are expecting next summer, that may or may not happen. If/when she does, she will likely do mostly the cooking that she loves so much and help out like she did when she was here before.
If I were to/when I do go back to work full-time outside the home, we've talked about what we think would be best for the kids and I think we've decided that a high quality out of home child care/Montessori school program might be best for their learning and socialization, though it would be more work for us and a nanny would offer more flexibility. Though with MIL here for a part of each year, it doesn't make a lot of sense to have her not be able to see them during the day, since that is a big part of the reason why she is here. Being limited to Hindi/Marahti speaking nannies is just that, limiting, (even though where we live there are a disproportionately high number of Indians) and even though she is lovely and I would eliminate the communication issue, the dynamic of MIL and the nanny could potentially complicate matters, as thankful as we are to have her spend time with us. If we had a second guest room, I would have already just hired an au pair.
We've decided to make the move back to an HSA eligible health plan for next year. We've had them in the past, through my job and then DH's, and they are awesome when you are young and/or healthy, but we've been on DH's PPO for the last few years due to their rich benefits and (now exhausted) IF coverage, our "issues" getting and staying pg, and since the twins had not yet been born when we had to choose last year. I will never get over the irony of all the money we spent to get pregnant, but all the surgeries (including my emergency CS and cerc) and hospital stays (including four days in a sweet suite) cost us a few hundred dollars.
Between the premium savings, his employer HSA contribution, and what we usually put in an FSA (which is now limited) we will have funded the total family OOP max in our HSA account, though you are able to fund up to a total of $6450/yr pre-tax as a family in lieu of an FSA (unless you want to fund a vision/dental only FSA, like I did for my Lasik in '07 in preparation for babies). What we don't use will roll over to meet the needs of future years, and can be invested in the hopes of earning more than a few percent. All preventative care/immunizations/well child care is covered at 100% with no co-pay, so we'll actually save money vs/ this year for all of that. HSAs are supposed to be about empowerment and accountability, but in reality they are sadly really about rewarding both healthy people and investment firms, cost shifting and tax shelters, but I digress.
When I go back to work, besides obviously child care, our financial goals remain: finish paying off my car (if still outstanding), max out all: retirement savings (401K & IRA), HSA, child care accounts and 529 accounts, and save some more.
I am also gym shopping now that we are done pumping and the kids are bigger. I learned the childcare at the Y is closed in the afternoons, so that is out. A new gym opening near us this spring has closed circuit TV so you can watch your kids on your machine while you are working out, which is perfect for the overprotective and paranoid, like me, though I don't want to wait that long to get busy. Another new one has free childcare, but it seems like it isn't something that should be free, though I guess that is an incentive to go frequently. My last gym was at my last job and before that I was at a very nice, yet very oversubscribed one nearby that I'd like to avoid if at all possible.
My focus for the new year is an attempt at balance. I'll need all the luck I can get.
Onward and Upward! Happy 2013!!!
