If I wasn't expecting, this would just be weird...

Your horoscope for November 9, 2011


Yes, Katherine, the road that leads to birth is rather long. You haven't finished all the cleaning up that remains to be done in many areas. You're going to have to get your papers in order, pay off old debts, face physical or moral obligations and fix technical problems and machines. Whew, that's a lot of work! Fortunately, once it is done your emotional baggage will be considerably lighter, enabling you to go farther, faster...

14 weeks!

We've gone from peaches to lemons!  So I guess I am now officially in the fourth "lunar" month of pregnancy, aka the beginning of second trimester, per my new Pregnancy Journal, which has very informative day-to-day information.  The timing is weird, some sites will tell you that sometime in 13 or 14 weeks are the start of 2nd tri.  They will also tell me that I turned over yesterday, today, or tomorrow based on the exact same retrieval/5dt date.  Oh well.  Just thankful as always. :)

Since all the fun of Wednesday, I've been exhausted, but trying to get as much done as I can.  How do I have so much to do and I'm not even working right now?  I apparently have a minor bacterial infection that I get to take antibiotics for the next week to kick.  Oh AB how I love thee?  They mess up my stomach like no other...

I haven't been nauseous in weeks and didn't vomit once in the 1st tri, and even made it completely unscathed through our sailing trip this week, but the latest annoyance is that I gag and lately toss my cookies when brushing my teeth.  Lovely.  I don't want to give up my Sonicare (since obviously not brushing is not a viable option) since it has kept me in tip top cavity free shape for so many years, but after multiple days of cleaning vomit out of the sink, I think I might have to go retro w/a new toothbrush.  Ick.

I am finally up in weight, and a whole six pounds!  I'm not sure where that came from, though my appetite has definitely come roaring back.  I don't have any cravings (a good sign, I think) and pretty much all of my aversions (meat, etc.) are now long gone.

Thankfully we are already very settled in our big family house and I have the big family car, but since we are now expecting twins, the little nursery that's been sitting patiently waiting for its tiny occupant will just be too small for two.  So it will remain guest bedroom #2 for now.  We always planned to convert the current den, across the hall, to a second kid's room/playroom when the time came, but that time is now. :)  My dad is coming down at the end of August to help us finish the wall to close off the room from the living room and add a door in the current doorway opening.  I'll need to have my paint color picked out by then so S can take care of that and we can get moving on starting to put things together.  I can't believe it's only ten weeks until our V-day (my B-day :) ), though obviously we don't plan to be bringing them home until sometime in Dec. at the earliest.

Happy weekend! :)

Twins!

We had our first ultrasound this morning @ 6w4d and we're pregnant w/twins!  It was nearly impossible to get them at all on the same screen, as they are still very small, but we have two sacs, yolk sacs, and LOs w/heartbeats! 

We are very excited, though of course that is tempered by the reality (which our RE reminded us of) that there is an even higher rate of m/c since we have two and obviously the rate of complications, if both continue to thrive, will likely be higher.  But we'll take it! :)

Taking my blog private and six weeks!

I have decided to make my blog private, as I've realized my election to not be picked up in Google searches was somehow recently deactivated and I've had thousands of hits in the last few weeks (8697 to be exact) from people who don't know me or presumably care about our journey.  Ah, the joys of the internets...  A bit too creepy for this non-AW pregnant lady...

If you'd like to continue reading about our journey, please e-mail me at kthappy76@gmail.com so I can give you access. 

How your baby's growing at six weeks: (from BabyCenter.com)

This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears are all beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil. :)

Still feeling really good, just thankful I can sleep as much as my overheated body decides it wants to, as it's not necessarily through the night.  No nausea at all, yet...  So much different than last time.

Five weeks!

Time is crawling, but we are 5 weeks today!  It is so strange how different I feel than the last time.  I've had no nausea (not that I'm complaining) and generally feel pretty good.  Everyone I talk to attributes this to the fact that I haven't been working, which I think is probably pretty accurate.  I can't do much about my anxiety, other than just try to remain optimistic, but it certainly doesn't hurt getting rid of all that unnecessary stress.

I am going in on Monday for my optional third beta just to make sure that everything is still progressing and so I can drive myself crazy if it's not as high as last time @ 24dpo. ;)  We are aiming for the high 3000's.  It's only a week and a half until our first u/s and to say that I am excited is a massive understatement.

The weather has been amazing here and I've finally gotten all my annuals in.  I am especially excited about all the heirloom tomatoes and strawberries.  Now I just have to wait for them to fruit already.

I can't believe it's only two weeks until Memorial Day weekend.  We'll be headed up to WI again to see the fam, celebrate my mom and BIL's shared b-day and also my g-ma G's 89th! And my sister finishing chemo!  Should be fun!

A very scary night

I debated writing about this at all, as people may wonder if I'm trying to garner sympathy, when I actually don't particularly enjoy sharing the intimacies of our lives.  Except that I know there are other women out there going through what I have, which is the only reason why this blog is public.  I've also learned that unless you've experienced a sudden and natural m/c (which I wouldn't wish on anyone), you (thankfully) have absolutely no idea what the experience is like.  This is why I thought I'd share.

The single worst days of my life so far, last December 29 and 30, when we lost our baby, I was alone and naive.  I had no idea what was happening.  I had lower back pain and started cramping, but it was almost over before it began.  I admit I think about it often, though not in a woe is me sort of way, but more like flashbacks to some sort of sneak attack.  I've come to acknowledge that I likely have PTSD or something of the like.  It impacted my ability to feel like I was useful at work and is one of the reasons why I decided to leave.  And now, we are (thankfully) pregnant again, which brings with it all new sorts of anxiety.  Like my irrational fear that the baby will come out when I'm going to the bathroom.  If only I had learned of my loss via u/s like most people do, I could have an irrational fear them, not something I have to do many times a day.

Last night, I thought it was starting to happen again.  I started having oddly painful cramps out of nowhere and my lower back was killing me.  The horror of that night came back.  I knew there was absolutely nothing I (or anyone else) could do if my cervix decided it was going to open up again, but I didn't have the benefit of the naivety that protected me that night, that is up until I ended up sitting there with my baby in my hands knowing there wasn't anything I could do to reverse what had happened.

Last night thankfully it ended differently.  After several hours of alternating between the bed, where I dreaded waking up in a pool of blood (who thinks about messing their bed at a time like this?) and the toilet where I readied myself for the sight of what I wasn't ready to see before (but at this point it would just be blood, no baby), I wanted to think that maybe the uterine contractions I was having was it expanding rather than contracting.  But why now and why such horrific pain?  DH was beside himself.  I had no idea before how huge the uterus gets even early in pregnancy, until of course I saw first hand all of the material that came out last time (it seems an unlimited amount of tissue and blood), and then I felt every millimeter of it shrinking back to it's regular tiny size in the subsequent days after my loss.  Good to know.

We finally fell asleep and today I feel surprisingly good.  I have no idea what the hell happened.  Is this normal?  Did we lose one?  Is it over?  I haven't bled at all.  Hopefully it was just my initiation into this latest pregnancy, which is not otherwise making me sick at all.  I don't really feel different or pregnant, though my tummy is already a tiny little bump. :)

Dr. Malpani on beta levels

Dr. Malpani on betas

How funny is it that Dr. Malpani (an RE in Mumbai, India, where DH is from) is citing a study done by our RE in Illinois. Small world...

Why is it so hard to make sense of your HCG levels ?

HCG (also known as beta HCG or just beta) is a very special molecule. It's unique in that it's produced only by the placenta (very very rarely, it's also produced by some ovarian and testicular tumours). This means that for all practical purposes, it's found only in pregnant women and is therefore a very good marker for pregnancy.

Since the HCG is produced by the placenta, the levels of HCG rise as the pregnancy develops, and there is very good correlation between the health of the pregnancy and the HCG level for the first few weeks of the pregnancy (from about week 4 - week 7, as calculated from the LMP, last menstrual period).

However , it can be hard to make sense of your HCG blood levels. Let's look at some of the pitfalls in monitoring your beta levels.

Most patients naively assume that a beta of more than 1 mIU/ml means that it's positive and that they are pregnant. This is not true. The new kits are very sensitive , and even men can have levels of upto 10. This means that a level of less than 10 mIU/ml should be considered to be negative.

Secondly, remember that the HCG is produced by the placenta and not by the fetus. This means that the HCG levels may rise , even if the pregnancy is not viable ( such as an anembryonic pregnancy or a missed abortion).

Since HCG levels rises exponentially, there is a very very wide range of normal. This is why it's very hard to interpret just one level in isolation . It's important to check at least 2 levels at least 48 hours apart to determine the trend . In a healthy pregnancy, the levels should double every 48 - 72 hours. If they do not do so, this suggests your pregnancy may not be healthy.

It's not possible to determine whether the pregnancy is single or multiple based only on the HCG level. While it's true that HCG levels are higher in multiple pregnancies than in singletons, because there is so much overlap, you cannot jump to any conclusions based on the HCG level alone. This is why it's important to interpret the HCG level in conjunction with vaginal ultrasound scanning results.

Also, normal ranges can vary widely from lab to lab, because they use different kits. This is why it is important to check your HCG level from the same lab each time !

Finally, HCG levels are useful only in the first 7 weeks of pregnancy. After this, ultrasound scans are far more useful because they provide much more information about the location of the pregnancy; how many sacs there are; and whether the fetus is growing or not.

NORMAL SINGLE PREGNANCIES

Day after HCG or LH (DPO) mIU/ml

Day Avg. High Low #
14 48 119 17 12
15 59 147 17 18
16 95 223 33 23
17 132 429 17 21
18 292 758 70 19
19 303 514 111 23
20 522 1690 135 13
21 1061 4130 324 12
22 1287 3279 185 22
23 2034 4660 506 13
24 2637 10000 540 16

The information in the table above is part of a study carried out by Dr. Sherbahn

Eight weeks and five years...

Eight weeks pregnant


I have mixed feelings about belly pics, but I guess I need to get over this. Enjoy the VPL, nice. I'm feeling decent, really tired and passing spells of nausea, but nothing I can't handle.


Five years ago today, we closed on our house (our first together :) ), and a few days later we got engaged. DH wanted to wait for the anniversary of our first date to propose, but I remember being kind of annoyed that we hadn't yet made it official. It was just a formality, since we'd been attached at the hip practically since we met.

So that means it's been six years since we first met. My how much has happened since then...

My new best friend

Meet Ginger, my new best friend...

Yogi Ginger Tea
(organic, caffeine free)


Knudsen Ginger Ale
(no sugar/HFCS, sweetened w/fruit juice)


Ginger People Ginger Chews
(have sugar and are really strong, we call these the big guns)

All I can say is I'm eternally grateful that I feel sick, it's the only thing that is getting me through the excruciatingly long wait for my first u/s (which is Tuesday! :) )