I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions, but I should probably make one to do a better job documenting our lives. I completely skipped blogging in 2018. Oops. Life is pretty good, but busy and exhausting. I should try to make this blog more than the year end letter I never actually write (until after the fact) or send to anyone.
We just got back from three weeks in India, our first visit in five years. My brother and sister in law had another baby last spring (a boy), so after avoiding the trip for several years (we went last after their daughter was born), it became unavoidable, even though I fell deathly ill last time and was avoiding it like another plague. My mother in law last came to stay with us three years ago, so we were a bit overdue. I don’t dislike it there, it just doesn’t seem to agree with sensitive Northern European/Midwestern constitution unfortunately. I was less sick this time than I usually am there, so that’s the good news. Yay for expensive new prophylactic antibiotics! The weather was lovely in Nashik (if a bit cooler than usual at night) and the kids had fun. It’s just kind of boring, as I spend a lot of time sitting around. I made sure to bring some books to catch up on my reading, which was good, except that there isn't anything else to do. Many of his relatives don’t speak English, which is isolating. One of his many cousins happened to get married while we were there, so that was fun for everyone. Indian weddings are crazy.
Thankfully, we booked our last week to be just us four in Goa, which is a beach resort down the western coast and a former Portuguese colony. I felt like a heel leaving his family for a vacation in India, but we needed it, badly. We stayed at a fancy resort on the sea and ate way too much.
I went out to NYC in the spring to visit my sister, and of course it was monsoon season (per usual). After sixish years in Brooklyn, they finally moved to the Bronx to be near her NYPL branch and because they needed more space since her new husband’s adult son is now living with them (long story). I managed to injure my hip somehow (I always walk dozens of miles when I go), and that has sort of been plaguing me since. I went to an orthopedist (for the Bears, hello overqualified) and of course it’s another mysterious unexplainable problem, so I did many weeks of PT, which helped, but it’s still not great. Besides being annoying, it has also affected my mobility enough to contribute to gaining a good ten pounds, which is making me crabby after being the same weight/size for decades, including for years after having the twins.
It probably also didn’t help that the initial injury coincided with my first/only failed foray into anti-anxiety meds, which I’d started the previous year and my Dr. tinkered with unsuccessfully for months. They did nothing. So while I should be exercising to help not be a nervous hot mess, I have pain simply walking. My problem hip is my left where you may recall I spent four months residing back in 2011. Payback time isn’t a good time.
We took my mom and eldest sister with us on our summer vacation to the Hamptons this year. My mom has been doing a lot of genealogy research the last several years, since she left her job as a nurse to be a caregiver for my grandma, then my sister, and her grandkids, and most recently my late step dad. Unfortunately most of it since she lost her mom, who would have gotten a real kick out of all she’s found. She had mentioned the previous year when we were there (without her) that we had some connection to Shelter Island (which none of us had ever been to), but didn’t elaborate until we got there this year.
Well it turns out, across the shortest ferry ride, we had ancestors who owned the whole flipping thing!? We went together to visit Sylvester Manor, which is still there even though most of the land was sold long ago. And that was just the beginning. So the big news is I’m now working on a book on our Brinley ancestors who also owned huge swaths of Newport, RI, Boston, and NJ from the 1600s, because why not take on a ten year project. It gave me some serious direction and work for my September solo trip to New England, which I likely would have taken anyway, but was pretty mind blowing. Planning on NY/NJ next, with England to come.
I literally used to walk every day past Boston’s King’s Chapel cemetery (its very first), from one crappy job to the next, where my ancestors were buried and have a historical plaque proclaiming them “the richest Bostonians of the 18th century” (turns out their portraits are hanging in the Met for crying out loud), and a couple generations back further (to the immigrant one) were the same for the 17th. Just three centuries of Harvard guys. Well that’s about 25 years too late a discovery to be helpful to me. Oh well. I used to row early morning crew on a river named for the King of England who my 10th great grandfather worked for. Remember I was a scholarship student, whose family barely went to state schools, and thought I was crazy for picking up and moving to Boston. How’s that for mind blowing? Oh and they are also my familial link to the current British royals (via the late Queen mum).
Sagar started a new job in late September, which seems to be going well. The whole process took awhile, but I think it's better. He was done after nine years at his old firm, which was well past ridiculous. The new one is a great firm where he is building their public practice from scratch. It's big time and I'm super proud of him. Of course they also offer market leading infertility benefits, and irony is never lost on me. Too old for that shit, but it did cross my mind for about a nanosecond.
I also turned 42 in late September, which should/would have otherwise been an uneventful Monday. But that morning, my boss/client/whatever you want to call him called me at 9am right after I’d sent him an update email on our project to tell me the evening before his wife (of nearly 30 yrs) had stepped in front of a train. He was still reeling and waiting for their three grown kids (b/g twins + another daughter) to arrive home from all over to be with him. Talk about sad. I had only met her once briefly when they hosted a party for the team at their old home in Barrington Hills back when he was my CMO. I didn’t know she had a PhD and was a clinical psychologist. Just goes to show that you can “have it all” (and be a mental health professional) and still have and succumb to serious mental illness. He is the nicest guy (and basically my professional benefactor, as I’ve been able to work from home on my own hours making beaucoup bucks for the last three plus years because of him), and I’m just glad I was in a position to completely take the project over, so he had one less thing to worry about. Probably one of the saddest funerals I’ve ever been to, and for someone I didn’t even know. I just can’t imagine. Now I get to feel guilty for having my best year yet, and for making a bunch of extra money because his wife killed herself. Mostly using it to travel, which it seems she would have liked.
The twins just turned seven, though as always, the celebration is a month long as their big party was later in January, after all the holiday/break craziness dies down. They are both loving and doing great in school (1st grade), though I’m already worrying about fall when their regular trimester testing will determine if they get tracked for the magnet program (at yet another elementary school for 3rd-6th, and our neighborhood middle for 7th-8th), gifted (at their current/each school), or regular acceleration (which they have now).
She is consistently on track to qualify for magnet (98%ile or higher for both math and reading), while he is right on the cusp for the gifted program (95%ile plus). These are the same kids who didn’t do much “on time” folks, in case you are wondering how relevant most milestones are. So now I’m faced with separating them potentially (worst case), and while they have been in separate classes for three years (and separate preschools back in half day pre-K), it's not the same as a separate school, I'm not thrilled with the prospect. I wish they could stay where they are and get what they need, at a school of our choosing, though the magnet school is another great school of choice (it’s thing is Mandarin immersion, though I don’t know yet if the magnet kids automatically get into that program or not). Two schools with two different schedules (ours now is late start) on two different buses, on different ends of town isn’t ideal. We could move to get him into the school, though that would likely separate them for junior high, and feeds to a different high school, or I could apply to them as a choice school, but the decision would be due before she finds out. Ugh. Maybe we’ll be cramming for 2nd grade testing this summer like a bunch of fools. They don’t send a new group into each program until 5th, if they don’t make the cut for 3rd.
Finally took them to the pedi for their 7 year visit now that we are back and they are continuing off the charts tall. Operation try to chub up the kids continues.
Hence my main genetic offerings, smart and tall. Rock on giant geniuses!
