A breakthrough, perhaps.

I'm still processing all the craziness of Friday. I went to the RE in the morning for my 7dpo progesterone test (which I called and scheduled on my own, only to get a call back from the nurse asking why I was coming in). When the new nurse who did my blood draw called with my results in the afternoon, I knew right away when she said it that it was low (7.48), but she said nothing and since I was sitting at work I didn't want to get into it right there. So I doubled checked what is normal (>10 natural cycle, >15 medicated) and turned to the board to see what they thought I should do. The consensus was ask for a supplement next month, but I thought, why wait?

As I was running out of the office at 3pm to go to the city for my acu study consult, I made sure I had the info I needed to call from the car to get some sort of action from my RE. When I spoke to the nurse (SA, not the new one), she still seemed puzzled as to why I had come in for the test (she guessed to see if I had O'd, not because I actually thought and wanted to confirm that I have low P). Her exact words, "we didn't think you were trying this month." I don't know if I've ever been so angry. Was she kidding? I mentioned to her twice that our meeting with the RE next month is an IVF consult, so why does she think we aren't trying. It's really beyond me to understand her reasoning at all. She is the worst person in that office.

So after she acknowledged that if we were trying, she'd like to see it at 15, I asked if I should expect a call from the Dr. on what we are going to do, or if she already had or what. She only then agreed to try to get a hold of the Dr. to see what she wanted to do this cycle. Within a few minutes, she called back and left a msg. that the Dr. wanted me to start Crinone 8% that night and then to continue every morning (until when, TBD) and she had already called it in to our local fertility pharmacy. This is the fastest, most proactive thing that has come out of this office, and they are the good RE.

(Crinone, my new best friend)

Then when I finally made it to the wellness clinic for the acu study consult, I got to rehash my entire history with the dr. (who I had spoken to on the phone and had my doubts about, but who was very nice). She had to stop me several times as she was a bit overwhelmed with what I was telling her (which should probably worry me). It's so old hat to me, I could recite it all in my sleep. She also maintains that I am "out of balance" and fortunately I was able to share with her my newly discovered hormonal issue.

She is still interviewing candidates for the study (so not in the clear yet), but she seemed very positive. I should hear in the next two weeks. Sadly, she did tell me that my 4+ mos. of weekly acu sessions likely were not really helping me beyond making me feel better for a bit after each one, as infertility needs to be treated with a minimum of two treatments a week to actually have any benefit. So like other recent discoveries, this made me at first very mad (how many thousands would I spend at the other clinic before she upped my regimen?), but then it made me happy that now I knew better than I had before.

Thanks to my DH, I got my Crinone before the pharmacy closed and now I just trying to feel out the side effects. So far, constipation, hot flashes, general not so great feeling, but somehow I feel fabulous that we might be closer to an answer. I'm trying not to think of the fact that we could/should have found this out a YEAR ago. I'm due on Friday and I'm not holding out for a miracle, but besides making my month/year, it would certainly make our weekend at my nephew's baptism with all the family much more palatable.

Choosing the perfect house color (update)

We've lived in our house for nearly 4 1/2 years and one of the many great things about our HOA is that they paint the houses every five on a rotating schedule. So we bought the house, despite not being crazy about the color, knowing that we could change it when the time came (without having to pay to do it ourselves, which we are much too practical to even consider). We didn't realize the house had just been painted when we bought it, so we've patiently waited and the time is finally here. Yay!

One of the not so lovely things about our HOA is that they dictate the colors that you have to choose from to paint your house. Weird, right? But given the options, we figured we could come up with something.

Our subdivision is comprised of single family and town homes all in what I've discovered is a "mountain style," like this... (NB: this is not our house)



Cedar siding with brick accents and natural/neutral colors. Since my go-to style is cape cottage, this was not a natural fit for me, but I bit the bullet since the layout, location, etc. was what we wanted. One of my main criteria was no vinyl siding, which may sound strange, but I have a sort of allergy (design wise, of course) to it, so that ruled out most of the houses in the areas we were considering given when they were developed. Any who, back to colors.

Our house is currently "beige gray" (Ben Moore solid siding stain, all color representations from here)



With trim in "cocoa"


And when we replaced our old brown leaky aluminum (ick!) windows a few years back with Pella's Impervia fiberglass super energy efficient ones, we got them in brown.



We spent a lot of time thinking about this, since we knew we wanted to change the house color as soon as we could, but after we discovered the brown sliding glass doors on the front of the house (yes, you heard that right) were of a non-std. size (of course), they would have cost a fortune to replace. So we just upgraded the glass and went with brown windows so that everything would continue to match. Since we figured a house with non-matching windows = really bad.

I also thought the trim should probably continue to match the windows, so it all blends well. Also if we were to change the trim color we'd have to prime and then repaint the fence.

We also redid the roof, and those shingles look like this...
(CertainTeed architectural in "mission brown")

So everytime we go to buy stain @ Ben Moore, I look at the color options. I found this one, called "stone hedge," awhile back...


(it's really a sort of blue gray)

But then when we went recently for fence paint (we have to do this ourselves, ugh!), S thought we might be able to pull off this with the brown trim. It's called "cape cod gray" What a tease (the husband and the color), right?



So we got some of the cape gray to try out on the back of the house to see how it would look like w/the trim. And sadly, it didn't do it for me. So I went back and got the stone blue. They look almost identical on the house, but somehow the stone hedge looks better. So now we get to "apply" to the HOA for a color change and hope they approve. I knew I should have run for the board. Wish us luck! :)

Update: I was overruled and we applied for the Cape Cod Gray. More to come...

What I'm not doing while I'm not getting pregnant...

When I started this little blog, I posted this detailing all the things we did in our first full year TTC (from our unsent holiday letter). Unfortunately, now we are well into our second year, and lately I've been thinking about what I'm not doing (as much) now that we are really in the trenches.

For one, I don't sleep like I used to, which I attribute mostly to stress. I also am not exercising as much as I used to (this is likely not helping me in the sleep dept. either). I also sadly don't spend as much time with friends as I used to. The time and energy I am devoting to getting pregnant, used to be spent in these other (based on our track record, more productive) ways.

The sadness leads to isolation and I find the most helpful refuge in my marriage and family. Don't get me wrong, I have great friends, but none who know first hand what it is like to go through what we are experiencing. I think, in an odd sort of way, I'm trying to protect them from the horrors. But I'm probably not doing myself any favors in the process. I am also not at all focused on my work, which doesn't trouble me as much as it probably should, but it sure makes the days go by much slower. I'm also not drinking, as it just isn't pleasurable anymore.

As an example, this morning I had my blood draw for my 7 dpo prog test. I had to get up extra early (i.e. less sleep, no morning workout) to get to the clinic for the 8am appt. I then got to sit there for 30 minutes waiting for the nurse to do a 5 minute blood draw. In a few hours, I'll need to leave work several hours early to drive into the city for my consult w/the clinic that is doing the acupuncture for fertility study (link). Bonus is I get to pick up dinner from here. Marigold is one of my favorite Indian restaurants in the city.



Anyway, not to get totally sidetracked... Then I get to rise early tomorrow to go to my existing acupuncturist for my weekly visit. Tomorrow night is the big fundraiser, so I get to put on my happy face and fancy dress and try to avoid getting smashed at the martini bar...

City getaway

I SO need to plan another weekend city getaway for S and me. We haven't stayed over since January (eek!). I need my city fix. I love this new hotel. The Elysian.

Arrival


Lobby



Spa


King room w/fireplace :)


A Gold Coast suite


w/balcony...


source: jetsetter.com

Happy Earth Day!

Celebrate the 40th anniversary of Earth Day by doing something (even something small) to help keep it a nice place to hang out.

Four cheap ideas to get you thinking...
-If you regularly get drinks out (coffee, etc.), carry a reusable mug
-If you haven't already, switch to reusable shopping bags and nix the plastic
-Recycle everything you can (out at the curb or give HH items to charity)
-If you live in a house, compost your table scraps and yard clippings

Four earth issues that keep me up at night: Clean water, air quality, waste disposal, impact of hazardous chemicals.

A very long year

As of this month, it's been one year since we first went to see the RE. We had only been TTC for six months at that point, but with my regular cycles but terrible AF's, our perfect timing and advancing age, we were more than eager to get to the bottom of what was (or in our case, was not) going on in there. Sadly we got more questions than answers. Two surgeries, two IUI's, and another RE later, we are not much further along than where we started. :(

I would be remiss to not mention how awesome my DH, S, has been over this long year. He's still wonderful and always my anchor. I am so glad that I married a man who is strong and sensitive and supportive and not some jerk who flips out when things get tough (not thinking of anyone in particular, of course ;)). This is what I picked out (and received) for Christmas...


We have almost exactly as much left to our infertility coverage as an IVF cycle costs with our clinic. $12.5K is a lot of money. And we may not be successful... And then where will we be? A bit older and planning to divert money that could/should go to our retirement, travel, charity, and home improvements for the possibility (a gamble really) of conceiving a child. I would need to be pg before the end of the year in order to have a baby in my arms by the time I turn 35.

Where does the time go?

Lovelies on OKL

One Kings Lane

Let me know if you need an invite. Lots of lovelies today, enjoy!


Dempsey & Carroll Hydrangea Notes


Pur Cashmere Jacquard throw


Oscar de la Renta Island three wick candle (OKL must haves)