Is not my enemy yet... I'm two days in and doing okay. I'm going to get good at doing the injects in my car, as I have evening plans almost every night this week. Wish me luck.
Great news on my sister, her wash lab came back negative this weekend, so no chemo. We are all beyond thrilled. Thanks for all your T&P.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Leaving my bags at the door...
I realize this title could be taken a number of different ways, but it's my way of saying that we are trying to move past the last two years of heartache (and honestly a lot of emotional baggage) that has brought us to this point. Trying to clear my head and open my heart to what is to come. We have a plan to cycle again if this doesn't work. Here.we.go...
Your horoscope for October 23, 2010
Things that have been out of whack in your life should begin to come back into balance again, Katherine. The bad news is that it may take a while for the pendulum to return to the point you want it to, but the good news is that this shift is taking place. It will be a slow and gradual change, but you are at a pivotal point in which you can set your sights on exactly what you want.
Your horoscope for October 23, 2010
Things that have been out of whack in your life should begin to come back into balance again, Katherine. The bad news is that it may take a while for the pendulum to return to the point you want it to, but the good news is that this shift is taking place. It will be a slow and gradual change, but you are at a pivotal point in which you can set your sights on exactly what you want.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Two Years
Is how long we've now been trying to get pregnant... But I start Lupron tomorrow. :)
It's funny that this "anniversary" happens to coincide with the electoral cycle, but only a political junkie like me would probably even notice this.
Two years ago...
-We had been together for almost four years, in our house for nearly three, and had recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary.
-It was the short window in the year when we are both the same age, at that time, 32.
-S had finally received his permanent residency (after ten yrs of slogging and waiting and unimaginable employer snafus) and had just taken his big PE exam (after many more unexpected delays), finally freeing him to look for a new job (which also coincidentally brought us our current IF bennies).
-I had been at my last job for a year, and was therefore finally FMLA and almost full STD eligible, but bigger yet, my boss, who had just buried her husband of eight years after he battled brain cancer for five, had just returned to work. The bottom had fallen out of the economy, but we would work for a few more months on the CEO's pet project until our VP (and many others) were let go, the project was cancelled, and we were left in limbo for months until we were finally reassigned.
-I had been off the pill for nearly two years (after ten years on them) and was super regular, boosting my confidence that even though my period had been wacky in my teens, that we would be able to get pregnant fairly easily. Oh, the wishful thinking...
-My sister was getting ready to have her second baby in as many years (she now, of course, has another). My best friend from college, married a year, had just had her first (she now has a second), but otherwise most of my close friends didn't have kids, now of course most of them do.
Since then:
-We've been to five different RE's at four clinics in two states. I've had three surgeries (two of them a complete waste) and have been on more meds than I care to recall. S has had three SA's and has been to a urologist. We've done three failed treatment cycles. I've had more Dr's appts., blood drawn, and transvag u/s than I can even begin to count. We've already spent thousands and thousands of dollars OOP, even though we have IF coverage and a $250 deductible PPO.
-On the family front, we've sadly and prematurely lost my father-in-law, who two years ago was doing absolutely fabulous after having emergency bypass surgery the previous year. My sister's new baby was dx with craniosynostosis (which was corrected by surgery) but thankfully is not afflicted with a syndrome. My older sister was dx with cancer, which is thankfully stage 1. And my grandmother and the matriarch of my family was dx with terminal lymphoma.
If we'd been successful at the start, we'd have a nearly 16 month old toddler and would be trying for #2. Who knows, I could still have two by the time I turn 35. ;) Now wouldn't that be ironic, talk about taking the long hard road...
It's funny that this "anniversary" happens to coincide with the electoral cycle, but only a political junkie like me would probably even notice this.
Two years ago...
-We had been together for almost four years, in our house for nearly three, and had recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary.
-It was the short window in the year when we are both the same age, at that time, 32.
-S had finally received his permanent residency (after ten yrs of slogging and waiting and unimaginable employer snafus) and had just taken his big PE exam (after many more unexpected delays), finally freeing him to look for a new job (which also coincidentally brought us our current IF bennies).
-I had been at my last job for a year, and was therefore finally FMLA and almost full STD eligible, but bigger yet, my boss, who had just buried her husband of eight years after he battled brain cancer for five, had just returned to work. The bottom had fallen out of the economy, but we would work for a few more months on the CEO's pet project until our VP (and many others) were let go, the project was cancelled, and we were left in limbo for months until we were finally reassigned.
-I had been off the pill for nearly two years (after ten years on them) and was super regular, boosting my confidence that even though my period had been wacky in my teens, that we would be able to get pregnant fairly easily. Oh, the wishful thinking...
-My sister was getting ready to have her second baby in as many years (she now, of course, has another). My best friend from college, married a year, had just had her first (she now has a second), but otherwise most of my close friends didn't have kids, now of course most of them do.
Since then:
-We've been to five different RE's at four clinics in two states. I've had three surgeries (two of them a complete waste) and have been on more meds than I care to recall. S has had three SA's and has been to a urologist. We've done three failed treatment cycles. I've had more Dr's appts., blood drawn, and transvag u/s than I can even begin to count. We've already spent thousands and thousands of dollars OOP, even though we have IF coverage and a $250 deductible PPO.
-On the family front, we've sadly and prematurely lost my father-in-law, who two years ago was doing absolutely fabulous after having emergency bypass surgery the previous year. My sister's new baby was dx with craniosynostosis (which was corrected by surgery) but thankfully is not afflicted with a syndrome. My older sister was dx with cancer, which is thankfully stage 1. And my grandmother and the matriarch of my family was dx with terminal lymphoma.
If we'd been successful at the start, we'd have a nearly 16 month old toddler and would be trying for #2. Who knows, I could still have two by the time I turn 35. ;) Now wouldn't that be ironic, talk about taking the long hard road...
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Good news/bad news
This is how things work for us, but you know you gotta worry about the big stuff and let the other stuff slide...
Sara is getting ready to head home tonight, she is doing so well. What a trooper! All her path reports just came back fine, her other tube had a benign cyst. We are just waiting on her wash report (to see if there are any free cells that are cancerous). If that is negative, then she can avoid chemo, which is no small blessing.
My niece also got a clear today from the plastic surgeon @ Mayo that she won't need any more surgery, at least in the short term, which is also huge.
S's 3rd SA came back today. Count was amazing (as always), morphology up to 4% (but still low), motility down to 48% (this is the first time this has been an issue). Since it's too late to do much for our cycle, we confirmed that we are doing ICSI. But we are looking into supplements, in case this isn't our last cycle.
Boy, we sure do keep the doctors and surgeons busy...
Sara is getting ready to head home tonight, she is doing so well. What a trooper! All her path reports just came back fine, her other tube had a benign cyst. We are just waiting on her wash report (to see if there are any free cells that are cancerous). If that is negative, then she can avoid chemo, which is no small blessing.
My niece also got a clear today from the plastic surgeon @ Mayo that she won't need any more surgery, at least in the short term, which is also huge.
S's 3rd SA came back today. Count was amazing (as always), morphology up to 4% (but still low), motility down to 48% (this is the first time this has been an issue). Since it's too late to do much for our cycle, we confirmed that we are doing ICSI. But we are looking into supplements, in case this isn't our last cycle.
Boy, we sure do keep the doctors and surgeons busy...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sara update
After two hours of surgery today and 70 (yes, I said 70) biopsies, Sara is recovering at the hospital. She will be there for another 3-4 days, depending on how things go. We could know something from pathology by that time or at the latest next week. The surgeon said the remaining tube looked like the first (i.e. cancerous). Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.
T&P request for my sister
Today is her big surgery day. Since fallopian tube cancer is treated like ovarian cancer, it needs to be staged in what seems like a very medieval way to me. She will have open surgery, from her sternum to her pelvis, where they will biopsy all tissues in her abdomen to see if there are any cancer cells anywhere. This will determine her treatment. Any and all thoughts and prayers are much appreciated.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Until things change again...
I'm taking a personal leave from work for three weeks in November. Assuming what I've been told and was approved today holds, I can take the three weeks before Thanksgiving unpaid, without using my remaining two weeks of PTO, and not have it count against my 12 weeks of FMLA time (this is apparently up the discretion of my management whether or not it applies, so I requested that it not and my boss said fine).
Honestly, I don't see being at my current job beyond next March, when I will collect my annual bonus and will have put in my time to not have to repay my sign-on or tuition reimbursement. But if our IVF is successful, depending on how things go, we'll decide whether I will stay on through my maternity leave (as it would be paid via STD and PTO) or leave at bonus time, in my second trimester.
If we are not successful, I will likely not be able to do a fresh cycle again until April (due to extensive work travel from Jan-Mar.) So we are praying for frosties! Then we can either beg DH's employer for additional IF $ (they are self-funded and provide a $15K lifetime max that is now exhausted) and/or I can get a new job with IF/adoption bennies (as my current employer offers absolutely none for IF), or WCS we could pay OOP (for IUI or IVF-fresh or frozen).
Top companies for IF/adoption benefits from Conceive Magazine
Top Prospects:
Royal Bank of Scotland/Citizens Bank Group:
$100K treatments, $100K meds, $22K/adoption reimbursement
Boston Consulting Group:
UNLIMITED IF benefits (can you believe it!?), none for adoption
Barilla (mmm, pasta...): 4 cycles of IVF, unlimited meds, $12K/adoption
National Futures Association: unlimited IF benefits, $5K/adoption
Or since IL is a mandate state, I could find a large enough IL-based, non-self funded employer that offers an HMO, but preferably not BCBS HMO (which my current RE doesn't accept) Yes, it's that complicated. The IL mandate is for 4 IVF cycles.
I will likely be several days into stims by the time I go on leave (since my boss booked me for a big presentation on 11/3), but it will be so nice. I drove up to Gurnee yesterday for the first time in the morning, and for a five minute blood draw, it took me three hours round trip. Between my appts. at the RE, acu, chiro, massage, and my procedures, yoga, school work, house work, etc., I'm not worried that I'll keep plenty busy.
Honestly, I don't see being at my current job beyond next March, when I will collect my annual bonus and will have put in my time to not have to repay my sign-on or tuition reimbursement. But if our IVF is successful, depending on how things go, we'll decide whether I will stay on through my maternity leave (as it would be paid via STD and PTO) or leave at bonus time, in my second trimester.
If we are not successful, I will likely not be able to do a fresh cycle again until April (due to extensive work travel from Jan-Mar.) So we are praying for frosties! Then we can either beg DH's employer for additional IF $ (they are self-funded and provide a $15K lifetime max that is now exhausted) and/or I can get a new job with IF/adoption bennies (as my current employer offers absolutely none for IF), or WCS we could pay OOP (for IUI or IVF-fresh or frozen).
Top companies for IF/adoption benefits from Conceive Magazine
Top Prospects:
Royal Bank of Scotland/Citizens Bank Group:
$100K treatments, $100K meds, $22K/adoption reimbursement
Boston Consulting Group:
UNLIMITED IF benefits (can you believe it!?), none for adoption
Barilla (mmm, pasta...): 4 cycles of IVF, unlimited meds, $12K/adoption
National Futures Association: unlimited IF benefits, $5K/adoption
Or since IL is a mandate state, I could find a large enough IL-based, non-self funded employer that offers an HMO, but preferably not BCBS HMO (which my current RE doesn't accept) Yes, it's that complicated. The IL mandate is for 4 IVF cycles.
I will likely be several days into stims by the time I go on leave (since my boss booked me for a big presentation on 11/3), but it will be so nice. I drove up to Gurnee yesterday for the first time in the morning, and for a five minute blood draw, it took me three hours round trip. Between my appts. at the RE, acu, chiro, massage, and my procedures, yoga, school work, house work, etc., I'm not worried that I'll keep plenty busy.
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