A few things I've realized...

1. That I don't like my job, and that taking leave is the BEST thing I've thought of EVER. I was able to spend most of Thursday in bed (w/heat) (see #5) and Friday doing things I actually enjoy with great people.

2. That much more than interior design generally (rendering, dealing w/clients, yada yada yada), I love textiles.

3. Per #2, I'd like to move onto the 6th floor of the Merchandise Mart. I could live there and no one would probably notice, it's HUGE.

4. Also on #2, I need to learn to sew.

5. My period w/o ibuprofen = hell. I don't think I've ever even tried to go without massive doses in 20 years, my cramps are that bad. Why I have no idea, as the teeny bit of endo I had was removed. Those little baby aspirin better be doing something for me, because I can't take both, my stomach can't take it.

6. I haven't been getting out and about enough (with other people who are not my husband). I've got lots of excuses, but basically when you feel like you suck at life (in all things out of your control no less), you don't make great company. We're pretty busy, but I've been in a self-imposed exile, but yesterday was really fun.

7. Starting new meds (Gonal F and low dose HCG) when you are only half awake is probably not a great idea. Pricked finger, bleeding stomach, wasted syringes, leaking vials, half read instructions... Nice start.

Well, hello hello

She's finally here!!! Yay! I get to lower my Lupron to 5 units (from 10) and go in tomorrow for my baseline and start stims. Finally!

My body knew I needed to get through yesterday (my last day at work and my big presentation). It went great and I felt much better than I had on Tuesday, thank goodness. Now I am "off" until after Thanksgiving... So I might actually do some real blogging, imagine that? ;)

So tired of waiting

They had me come in for blood work and u/s this morning since AF hasn't shown her lovely face yet, and I was kind of hoping we could start stims anyway, but my lining is thick so no going ahead until she comes. They have since called and confirmed that my b/w says it is coming and I just have to wait.

I admit that I am not a patient person, and I am so so tired of waiting. Why can't my body cooperate? Please let it come soon.

I'm way past the point of my normal cycle, assuming I know when I O'd (which I think I do). So it's CD 33 and counting. Our ER has officially been pushed back to the week of 11/14, with Beta now after Thanksgiving. I'm supposed to be on leave from the 4th-24th, returning on the 29th, so I'll likely talk to my boss about working from home a few days and taking a few after Thanksgiving.

Thinking about the holidays

I can't believe it's already November. I have no idea where the time goes. We don't even know what we are doing for Thanksgiving yet, if we'll get up to see my family or not. As everything depends on what happens when for our cycle. One thing I do need to decide on is a wreath for the front door. I usually go traditional, and this one from L.L. Bean is a favorite.



But then there is this one at Ballard (but of course, an S) and I thought it might be fun to mix things up.

DH is not a huge fan of it, but he really doesn't care. Too cheesy or not?

For the first time...

in my life I need/want AF to come and she is nowhere to be found. :( I had to call my clinic this morning and tell them that it didn't arrive over the weekend, as we all had been planning on. Still waiting to hear back on what to do. Probably just wait for now. I am so beyond ready to get this train going, but hopefully in the next few days. My boobs are killing me, but not sure if that's the Lupron or AF being difficult. Please send any/all AF vibes my way, she's late...

What I've been up to...

I have to admit I'm writing and writing lots of pointless crap and not publishing any of it. Sorry... (or maybe I should say you're welcome ;) ) Work is nuts and I'm alternating between it, the boards, and the "private" blog, as to support my girls, clear my ridiculously cluttered head, and avoid spending any money online shopping (hello teeny paychecks in November).

I don't have much to report on the IVF front. Besides not sleeping well (I sleep great until 3-4am, then I lay in bed for hours), which is nothing new, I'm not having any real side effects from the Lupron. Hope AF comes as scheduled this weekend and we can get this show on the road finally. My last day of work before my leave is next Wednesday and I cannot wait!

Wishing I was home

So it's catching up with me, not sleeping well that is. I'm tired and feel like crap. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't want to be here when I'm doing this. I am supposed to be home starting next Thursday, but of course I have an obscene amount of work to do between now and then. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have me on the project that the goals of the entire company apparently rest on, was out of their mind. :/ Can we start a countdown to March?

This is what I'm supposed to be up to tonight, if I don't fall asleep before then. I haven't been to Tru since they were the hot new place in town a decade ago. I'm a sucker for magazine parties, it'll be a nice little deja vu from my ad agency days...