3dp5dt

Even though time is still crawling, I love a 5dt for its relative speed.  The two week wait becomes more like a one week wait.  I can't decide when I will start testing, as my faux trigger hCG is gone.  I've been feeling nothing in the ute (I had lots of lightning last time), but I am still feeling uncomfortable from the trauma of the transfer/drain. 

1dpt....Blastocyst hatches out of shell on this day
2dpt.. Blastocyst attaches to a site on the uterine lining
3dpt.. Implantation begins as the blastocyst begins to bury in the lining
4dpt.. Implantation process continues and morula buries deeper in the lining
5dpt.. Morula is completely implanted in the lining and has placenta cells & fetal cells
6dpt...Placenta cells begin to secret hCG in the blood
7dpt...More hCG is produced as fetus develops
8dpt...More hCG is produced as fetus develops
9dpt...hCG levels are now high enough to be immediately detected on HPT (beta)

Waitie Katie no more!

Engagement photos (and this one from their wedding program) by Mario Testino

After waiting nearly a decade to marry, I can only hope that they won't have to wait years to have babies. ;)

She is a huge glass of water for the Royal Family and besides my obvious affinity with our shared names (not Middleton or Windsor), I'm a fan.

I love her sense of style and how she conducts herself.  Simple, classic, perfect.  I am dying to see her dress. (Lace!  I totally called it!)  Best wishes Kate and Wills!

All aboard!

Our embies are finally out of the freezer and where they belong.  My RE explained that the top one had bounced back and expanded already after the thaw and the one at the bottom was still compacted.  I'm not sure exactly what this means for them, but he didn't seem concerned.  I apparently still don't have the full bladder thing down yet.  I drank a lot of water, but I had also eaten since our transfer was mid-day, so it took a few extra minutes while I drank some more and we waited for my kidneys to do their thing.  They ended up cooperating.

The only other hiccup was after the transfer, the nurse asked me if I wanted to empty my bladder and I said yes.  She promptly assaulted me with a catheter, which was horrific going in, during the emptying, and then again coming out.  Then she instructed me to keep pushing liquids to help keep a UTI at bay, since they couldn't use betadyne or give me anything.  Won't make that mistake again, I would have rather wet my pants.  Chilling out on bedrest for the rest of the day.  Beta is next Friday, May 6th. :)

FET week!

I can not believe that we are finally here, just two days to transfer.  It's been a crazy long four months.  And it is difficult for me to express the mixture of emotions that I have right now.  Excitement - that it is finally here.  Gratitude - that we have our two embryos.  Sadness - that we are not still pg from last year and celebrating 25 weeks.  Anxiety - that we will not get pg again or heaven forbid miscarry again.  Fatigue - with this whole process.  Etc., etc...

We had a great Easter.  It was a tough week with all the travel, getting sick and my grandfather's funeral.  But we went to church yesterday, then had an amazing brunch, and spent a quiet evening at home.  As DH put it... Pray, Eat, Love.  ;)  It was wild to think that this time next year, if we are lucky, we could have a baby(-ies) and our families in tow as we celebrate Easter/Spring/their baptism. 

Time seems to have taken on a strange pacing, as we've been at this for so long, but now we are focused on this being our time to really/finally make things happen.  I'm hoping it doesn't actually turn into the "summer of IVF" having to cycle repeatedly, but we are ready for it if that is what it takes.  On that note, even though I had decided not to work full-time right now, I am entertaining a phone interview with GE Healthcare this afternoon.  They are nearby and offer IF benefits.  We shall see...

Wet and gloomy Earth Day

I am still so worn down from being sick, and this weather is not helping, that I'm not getting nearly as much done as I thought I would be being home just yet.  I went and got a massage and haircut this morning, which were very relaxing.  To kick-off National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), we are going into the city tomorrow to attend the "Fashion for Fertility" lunch at The Four Seasons to benefit Resolve.  We are both looking forward to it, especially since our plans to go out last weekend got cancelled due to having to work and finish our taxes.  Boo.

For those of you who don't already know all the minutia of our long TTC journey...

Infertility A - Z


A - Age at Which you Started TTC: newly 32, after our 2nd anniversary

B - Baby Dancing or Sex: Sex

C - Children Wanted: two, but we may end up w/one, we'll see...

D - Dogs/Cats/Fill In Babies: None, DH is allergic

E - Essential Oils/Vitamins: I take: Pre-Natal Vitamin, Vit D, Omega 3 & 6 fish oil, cranberry extract

F - Fertility Meds I've Taken: Clomid, Ovidrel, BCP, Follistim, hCG trigger, Crinone, Lupron, Gonal-F, Progestrone in Oil, estrogen patches, Prometrium, Premarin, and medrol, tetracycline, baby asprin and others I'm sure I'm forgetting.

G - Gain, What I have Gained from Infertility: Perspective, loss of interest in the unimportant and insignificant

H - HSG: I had one two years ago this month, when we first went to the RE and another after my m/c.

I - Infertile Pet Peeve: That insurance coverage is not universal and that for most people treatment decisions are often made based on cost.  I can think of no other medical condition that is treated this way.

J - Job Title: until I quit last week: Marketing Director, now: some would say unemployed, but I'm starting a consulting business.

K - Kids Names you are Afraid will be Taken:  I stopped caring about stuff like this long ago, plus I'm not really into trendy names anyway.

L - Length of Time TTC - 2 1/2 very long years

M - Miscarriages: One - our little Neela on 12/30/10 at 8 1/2 weeks

N - Number of Times you have Swiched REs: I'm on #5 at clinic #4...

O - Ovarian Quality: Good, as far as we can tell.  I like to say they are compliant, but not overly enthusiastic.  I O on my own as far as we know.

P - POAS or Wait for AF: POAS if we are cycling, otherwise I'm super regular.

Q - Quote from an Obnoxious Fertile: So many, it's hard to pick just one.  The most hurtful have come from close family and friends, though eventually I'm able to shrug them off as ignorance.

S - Sperm: Not spectacular, but not horrible either. Varies by SA, but thankfully there are plenty of them

T - Time you Tried Naturally - 6 mos. until first RE visit, then after surgery #1 (for a polyp), we TTC on our own until the one year mark.  Then again between cycles/surgeries whenever we were allowed to per RE.

U - Uterus Quality: I had a huge septum that took up most of my uterine cavity, but after two surgeries to remove it, it is now only 7mm and deemed to be a non-issue.

V - Vagina: yes ;)

W - What Baby Stuff do you Already Have: too much for someone with an empty womb, but not enough for someone who should have two in tow by now.

X - Xtra, Xtra, Hear all about it! How many people know about your TTC Journey:  immediate and some extended family, close friends/co-workers.

Y - Yearly Exam:  Of course.  I've been seeing the same gyne for over ten years, but sadly she no longer delivers babies, so I have a new one lined up.

Z - Zits: Hardly ever.  I put in my time as a teenager apparently.

The home stretch

It's been a wild few days...  The Vegas project went well, but was completely exhausting.  Between the travel to the desert (which never agrees w/me), time change, really long days, and meetings through almost every scheduled meal, I (of course) got sick for the first time in a long time.  My home bound flight was delayed, so we barely made it to the funeral up in WI yesterday on time.  But we did make it and now we are finally home and I am recovering.

I went in for my last pre-FET b/w appt. this morning and no news is good news.  It was just a P4 check, and it only needs to be <2.  I had my last Swedish acu appt. today, which was very relaxing.  I finished up my Lupron last night and do my hCG trigger, start PIO, and go down to two E2 patches tonight.  Then tomorrow I start Medrol and Tetracycline.  I've scheduled my pre- and post-transfer acu appts. for next week.

Only six more days to go!

Losing Louie

We sadly lost my grandpa Louie last night rather suddenly.  My mom had called me in the afternoon to tell me that he'd taken a sudden turn.  He was having signs of internal bleeding and his blood pressure had dropped way too low.  My step-father (his eldest son and like my mom, a nurse) was able to get to his side, but didn't think he'd be able to pull through like he'd done in the past.  And then by evening, he was gone. 

He'd been declining for some time, so I guess we can take some comfort in knowing that he wasn't suffering for long and was made comfortable and had his wife, sister, pastor, and his four dear sons nearby.  I'm so glad that I was able to visit with him and see him for what I didn't imagine would be the last time, just a few weeks ago, when I was up for my cousin's bridal shower.  He seemed like he was doing quite well then.  He was frail, but he recognized me right away, was very chatty and played cards with the guys while the ladies "showered".

I leave for Vegas in a few hours and am scheduled to return on the Wednesday red eye.  It looks like the funeral will likely be Wednesday morning, so we'll be leaving right from O'Hare to head to WI.  S will be a pallbearer, along with the other eldest grandsons and husband's of eldest granddaughters.  We will miss the visitation on Tuesday, but there is a viewing on Wednesday morning as well.

I understand there is nothing upside down in the universe when a man passes who has lived so fully all of his 80 plus years, leaving a wonderful family of four boys (and their wives), twelve grandchildren, and five great grandchildren. But he was the father (and the father of the man) who taught me how fathers should be.  Much like my late father-in-law as well.  Men who were good and honest and true, and embraced the responsibilities and joys of fatherhood, and lived for the simple love of their families.  Another beloved soul who will never share in the joy of our future children, and someone they would have been truly blessed to have in their lives.  A greater charge to us to live in their ways so that their love and the honor with which they lived will live on in the family we are working so very hard to build.

Amidst all the tears, I thank God again that he and the family that he and my grandmother created were linked (and enthusiastically embraced) with mine over 25 years ago in a unlikely pairing of my bachelor step-father and my young divorcee mother, who came with us four girls.

We love you Grandpa and we miss and love you dearly.