31 weeks and counting!

We have almost eight pounds of babies!  Baby girl is est. to be 4 lbs. with baby boy a few ounces behind his sister (for the first time) and all is still looking great.  Baby boy (A) is still frank breech and unlikely to move given he's practically folded in half and his sister is sprawled out on top of him (though anything is possible), setting us up for a C-section when I go into labor. 

My OB stopped my 17P shots due to the allergic reaction (severe swelling and itching) I've been having for several weeks.  She didn't really hesitate since she reiterated that they are not indicated for twins, but we were doing them anyway in the off chance that they could help keep things stable.  I'm not sure why the other OBs I've been seeing weekly were so hesitant to make the decision to take me off of them when I told them what was happening, but I'll be seeing Levin almost exclusively from here on out.

She recommended trying Pepsid for my reflux, so we're giving that a try and it's helping so far.

My cervix is thin, but holding.  I have about a cm below and about a half cm above the stitch.  She recommended if I start having light contractions, to have some wine.  What, me? ;)  Love that woman. :)

I'll be going to Prentice starting next week for my weekly NSTs and she's going to have them give me steroids @ 33 wks. to help the babies lungs develop faster, as they will likely be coming before term.

We had our car seat installation inspected last night at the police department, so we'll be ready, even though we have several more weeks to go.  We happily managed to fit them in the side and middle, so that I'll be able to fit in the back with them.

I think I finally found the birth announcements I want to send out!  I feel like I've been looking forever and was not finding what I was looking for given the limited options for twins and something that could double as a holiday card.  I was recently directed to Erin Condren by a fellow IFer.  Ironically, I ordered a planner from there last summer (which is lovely, but enormous).  Aren't they adorably perfect?!  They, of course, aren't cheap, but I figure we're only doing this once...

I've been trying really hard not to go overboard on the shopping, which is a challenge given I'm on bed rest.  I'm not yet in the market for baby shoes, but these have got to be the cutest things ever.  Cole Haan baby "driving" loafers, sale ends today on Zulily...

If I wasn't expecting, this would just be weird...

Your horoscope for November 9, 2011


Yes, Katherine, the road that leads to birth is rather long. You haven't finished all the cleaning up that remains to be done in many areas. You're going to have to get your papers in order, pay off old debts, face physical or moral obligations and fix technical problems and machines. Whew, that's a lot of work! Fortunately, once it is done your emotional baggage will be considerably lighter, enabling you to go farther, faster...

30 weeks!

We are so excited to have made it to the big round 30 weeks!  Only six more weeks of bed rest to go! :)

Everyone is breathing a huge sigh of relief that we've made it this far, but now we've moved from survival mode (since they'd have a >95% chance now) to hoping to keep them in as long as possible so that they can continue to thrive and we can minimize the risk that they will have any serious complications.  I continue to remain cautiously optimistic, though there is sadly still that little voice in me reminding me that something can always go terribly wrong, regardless of what we do.

My weekly check-up went fine yesterday.  The cerclage is holding, though my cervix is still short.  I didn't really get any resolution to my latest issues, which include: severe reflux (often waking me in the middle of the night) and the terrible reaction I'm having to my 17P injections.  The meds I can take for these aren't really helping.

Next week, we have another u/s and growth scan.  I am really looking forward to seeing the kids again and how big they are getting (hopefully pushing 4 lbs./ea!).  Then beginning @ 32 wks., we start going downtown to the hospital for weekly non-stress tests (NSTs).

It is hard to believe that we are now in our last full calendar month of pregnancy, since the latest they will be left in to bake will be Dec. 30th., but they will likely come sometime before that, but hopefully next month.

Looking forward to an extra hour of sleep this weekend.  Enjoy! :)

What would you sacrifice?

It's Halloween today.  Never one of my favorite days, but instead of my usual living vicariously through other people and their children and happily handing out candy like I have the last five years, I'll be hunkered down in bed and hiding inside with the lights off hoping our house makes it through the night unscathed.  Hopefully next year will be more festive.

Everyone knows that parenthood is all about sacrifice (of your body, your autonomy, lifestyle, etc., etc), and sadly for infertiles the sacrifice starts long before the kids arrive.  Like many others, we've already given up years of our marriage, tens of thousands of dollars, and lots else just for a chance to TTC.  For the chance to focus on having a successful pregnancy (or more cycling), I gave up my job in April.  In the hopes of bringing our twins to term with an unexpected four months of bed rest, I've given up the chance to do freelance work on top of all the preparation and celebration that usually comes with a complication-free pregnancy.  By the time I go back to work in 2013 (potentially), I will have given up hundreds of thousands of dollars and most likely much of the momentum in my career (something my former boss actually pointed out to me after I told him we were expecting twins, thanks for the reminder).

Many people make it through TTC and pregnancy pretty easily, just to be hit with issues once the kid arrives (like my mother and sister both have), but then we are reminded that others give it all just for a chance for themselves or their children.

An online friend of mine passed away last week after a five year battle with cancer.  She and her husband were married the same day that DH and I were five years ago, but the very next month she was dx w/cancer.  I don't know much about her prognosis at that time, but they ventured on a long journey to not only beat her cancer, but to start a family.  After more than three years of both, and with the help of IVF, they welcomed triplets.  She tragically passed away just after their first birthday.  It is difficult to imagine what one would do when faced with situations and decisions like these, it is so heartbreaking.  It is just impossible to know until and unless you are faced with them, I guess.

Over the summer, my mother was telling me about a friend of hers from her hometown who in the early 70s, when they were both starting their families, was also dx w/cancer.  In the three years that my mother had my two older sisters, her friend had three kids and then, unbeknownst to nearly everyone, had gotten pg again.  This was around the time she first got her dx.  She apparently was told they could treat her if she wasn't pg, but as a devout Catholic she had no interest in terminating.  Her baby was later delivered early and she passed away within hours.  Afterwards, my grandmother had told my mother she'd often seen her at St. Patrick's just praying, but she, like everyone else, didn't know what was going on.  Her husband was left with four children under five and no wife.  To many's surprise (but not mine), after meeting a fellow widow in a support group, he promptly remarried (she w/three young kids of her own) and they were married and raised all their kids over several decades together.  His second wife passed away recently when my mother was back in town, which is why she was telling me this story that she had never told me before, which caused me to sob like a baby at the thought of what her friend and her family must have gone through all those years ago and since.

Obviously, there just are no guarantees.  Some people get handed a raw deal and have to make choices to remain without children or for their kids to live without a parent and spouse without a partner.  Others sadly don't have real choices and some are lucky enough not to even be faced with similar situations and their reality is to be dismayed by the minor inconveniences of TTC, pregnancy and post-pg life.  If I had a dollar for every suburban housewife friend (but ironically not my model friends) who can't deal with their post-pg body...  It is possible to tell yourself that others are always worse off, but I really don't think it's possible to really understand what any of this would be like unless you endure them yourself. 

I, as always, am thankful and hopeful.

29 weeks!

I'm growing!  My mom thinks I look full term (for one), which I guess makes sense considering I'm probably toting around 7 pounds of baby about now.

My navel is pretty much flat now, sometimes the top half sticks out a little.  It's on its way...

The (for now) small marks on my left that I was talking about...

But my right in unscathed, so far...

Not much new to report as my weekly appt. was early and uneventful this week, but we are so excited to be entering our 30th week.  Less than two weeks until we get to see the twins again at the 31 week u/s.  I'm ordering the rest of the baby items we'll need to start and my Mom is finishing up the crib skirts, though it'll be awhile before we can really completely finish the nursery, once I'm off bed rest (which I'll try to remember to post about when we do).

Starting to think about some year one goals and get them written down.  Besides the usual and obvious:

Some Year One/2012 Goals:
Join local mom/twin/play group
Enroll in classes: Babygarten, Kindermusik, swimming, etc.
Teach babies basic sign language
Breastfeed/pump exclusively for first year, adding foods when appropriate
Keep kids TV free (use music/toys/etc. for engagement instead)
Try out different cloth diapers and transition from 7th Gen
Start private school fund (moving back to city by school age) in addition to ramping up 529 funds
Start date nights while we have grandma help
Secure reliable childcare for when we no longer have regular grandma help
Take at least one family vacation getaway
Start planning to move twins to separate rooms if/when necessary

Free shopping

Don't worry, I'm not clever or criminal enough to figure out how to shoplift from bed. ;)  I've just decided to start using some of my banked credits to do a little "free" shopping, which is super fun.  After I finally delved into my 100K FF miles to bring in my sister for a visit last month, since who knows when we'll be flying anywhere anytime soon, I've also been cashing in cc points/$ for gift cards, since momma needed found some pretty new pillow covers...

From West Elm, a pair of new Indian hand-blocked medallion euros for the master bed...  Since our Pratesi knock offs that match our duvet always looked crappy unless they were ironed, something I just don't do.

And from Pottery Barn, a new season means it's time to switch out the springy ones in the living room with harvest suzani pillow covers...

Mom is coming in tomorrow for the weekend and bringing a wheelchair for me, so we might actually be venturing out of the house briefly.  So exciting! :)  For those keeping track, we are now two months into bed rest and less than two months to Christmas (and this year we're getting BABIES!)  Happy Diwali!!

28 weeks!

And halfway through bed rest!  The babies are likely pushing three pounds each and we're officially in the third trimester.  Eight weeks to go until the cerclage comes out on 12/16!  Yay!  C-section is tentatively scheduled for 12/30 @ 38 wks (ironically both the 1st anni of my m/c and my niece's 3rd b-day), since if you recall last week the babies were no longer head down like they are shown here...



But my money is on them not staying put for long once the cerc is out.  14-15 pounds of baby on a completely spent cervix likely means we aren't making it to 38 weeks.

The Good:

-One of the advantages of spending nearly all my time horizontally is that my body is faring pretty well, no swelling, etc. and all my energy can go straight to the babies.

-I thank goodness every day for my long torso, and all the room it's giving the babies to grow, though I'm due for a growth spurt.

-My weight gain is right on target, and my BP is still perfect.

-I finally got the link to my online childbirth preparation class from Prentice, so that's been keeping me busy, for now.  And breastfeeding DVDs from Netflix, pure excitement!

-I joined DH back upstairs to sleep at night again!  A nice change of scenery, though I still spend my days downstairs.  This small step is making me feel a little more normal.

The Not so Good:

-I've found my first "battle scars" i.e. stretch marks, a couple of purple "commas" on my left hip (where I spend most of my time) and one coming out of my lap scar (under the bump).  I'm obviously not worried about these.  I'm thinking my bigger issue may eventually be diastasis recti (as the area above my navel is already looking thinned), which afflicted my sister on her first pg and has just gotten more severe with each one of her 41 wk singletons.  She now basically has a severe hernia that she has to live with.  My petite mother somehow carried four children without any of these issues that her tall daughters have, maybe because my eldest sister was so tiny.

-It's getting more and more difficult to breath, eat, and take vitamins.  I'm already eating about a dozen times a day and may end up on gummies.

-My weekly 17P shots are giving me large itchy welts on my ass.  Lovely...

Still terrified of the cerc ripping and my water breaking, but since there is little more I can do than I already am at this point, I'm really trying not to worry about it...  Looking forward to our coming milestones @ 30, 32, 34, and 36 wks...