The twins' first birthday

After a very sad week, we celebrated the twins' first birthday today.  I will never say enough how lucky we are to be their parents and that they are here with us and not in heaven with their sister.  Each and every moment and day is a gift.

It was a low key day for us, as we are bracing for what passes for a snow storm these days. 

The cupcakes were a big hit and a big mess, so after some baths we opened a few birthday gifts, which each year will get to be under the Christmas tree.  So much fun and they are pros already.

I figure it will take us several days of trying to get some good pics under the tree, so we've already begun.  The fun of getting past the barricade that usually surrounds it includes eating pine needles, moving the gifts to get to the trunk so you can get sap on your fingers and lick it off, and of course fun with ornaments.  Good times.

Sorting through all the pictures we've taken over the last year in preparation for their party reminds me just how far they have come.  They were so so small and so (dare I say) sickly looking for so long, but now he is huge and she just started cruising the furniture.  I wasn't sure we'd get here, but here we are.  We love you more and more every day.

 

Holiday Cards 2012

Since the twins (thankfully) didn't make their appearance until Christmas week last year, and I had no desire to send out pregnant pictures of myself, their birth announcements served as our slightly belated holiday greetings.

This year, we're a little behind, again.  We had our photo shoot in late October, but didn't get the CD until late November, and as our mailbox fills with cards from more organized people, I've only just gotten ours out of production.  I had been looking at the paisley beauties from Erin Condren, but then I thought I ought to spread the love around, since we used her bright confetti/jack design for their announcements, coordinating family cards and thank yous and the twins' first birthday party invites and thank yous.  I found some pretties on Shutterfly, designed by none other than local Chicago shop Float Paperie, and I think they look just great with our pics.

And on the back...

Babies!

They say that in America, our celebrities are our royalty, well I couldn't care less about celebrities. The palace has just confirmed that Kate is (finally) expecting! I can't even imagine this being my primary function in life and having so many people watching and waiting. It's already been almost two years (a new record for an heir apparently) since I and half the free world got up early to watch their wedding when I was on bedrest (the first time) just after our twins were transferred. We also just found out yesterday that DH's only brother and his new wife are also expecting their first child.

So excited for them!

I may be one of the only infertiles in the world who doesn't really sweat other people getting pg and having babies. I can honestly say that even as my elder sister was doing her Tori Spelling thing, four in five years including a whoops beginning after I got engaged, it didn't phase me, except that I worry for her children. We have very different life philosophies in general and she sees fit to try to rectify our crappy upbringing by living our parents' divergent dreams (mom: becoming an SLP and having four kids and staying home, and my dad: living on the land (at least 40 acres) with her own dose of crazy homeschooling and whatnot thrown in. A shrink for yourself is cheaper than messing up your kids. Anywho, I digress.

I'll admit it was really really tough for me were when I had three very close friends announce the arrival or pending in lousy ways while were in India for my FIL's funeral after our first IVF cycle got cancelled. Then I happened to have several friends who gave birth in the days after we lost our littlest girl two years ago and that shaded my ability to rejoice with them during that time (sorry ladies). Otherwise, IF is a long hard slog for so many and IMO made so much harder when we can't find a way to separate ourselves from what other people are doing. I guess I'm odd in that I don't spend a lot of time comparing my self to my peers. I have my own goals. I was mad I couldn't meet them and (enter cheeseball) "live the life I imagined". Theirs have little to do with mine. I like to think about it like waiting for DH to come into my life. I had to "kiss a lot of frogs", each of which taught me about myself and what I did and didn't want. I had SO many younger friends, cousins, and sisters get married before me (at nearly 30), some of them to the wrong guys, but despairing about that wouldn't have gotten me anywhere. It would however have made me miserable (a nice trait in a catch) and hurt our friendships, which I treasured.

I know it is so so hard to see the forest for the trees, but that is my infertility/life wisdom FWIW.

Speaking of trees, we ventured out in the super warm weather to get our Christmas tree over the weekend...

With no snow, which didn't allow us to use the twins' personal sleigh, we skipped the tree farm this year again and headed back to our local parish which sells really nice trees, so at least it is still going to a cause.  Last year, I picked our tree from them from the car.

The lovely gentlemen at the Knights of Columbus took several pictures of us with the tree after we picked it out, but of course for some reason there weren't actually pictures being taken. Boo hiss. Lesson learned.

What would you do for a million dollars?

...To send your two kids to college... (That's what it will cost in 20 years BTW, and we thought infertility treatments were expensive)

DH and I already think/talk/plan a lot for our kids' futures (we're planners like that) and the other day on our long road trip up north we were talking about a friend and engineer colleague of DH's who since he is employed by a top university just north of Chicago, which DH does many projects for, he would have been able to send his daughter there for free.  Though she decided to study elsewhere farther from home (his wife is a prominent attorney and their younger daughter is disabled) so they ended up not getting it gratis in the end.  I'm familiar with this lovely perk, several of my professors and staff back in the day did or were planning to take advantage of this, but of course it eliminates the options that your kids have when it comes to college picking, so we discussed how important it is for kids to have this choice.

I know when I was looking at colleges, my parents were pretty hands off, like with most things, though they both made it known that our state university would be just fine with them.  So I applied to and was accepted into their honors program as one of my fall back options.  While a great school, it was too big and too Greek for me.  When I applied early to my first choice (an Ivy) and was deferred to the regular admission pool, I was pissed and decided to go to my second choice (a seven sister), which I quickly got very excited about.  Unfortunately, I ended up being very unhappy with the environment and education generally, though I made some great friends, so I transferred out to another school in Boston after my sophomore year.  I have warm feelings for the school I graduated from, though it could not have been more different than the first.  I wouldn't necessarily recommend the course I took to finish my degree, but I own it and I think where you choose to go to school is one of the more important and earliest big decisions you make as a young adult.

Though it would likely mean a pay cut for him to work on the other side when the time came (he's a consultant), it obviously would pay off in the end.  I'd love for the kids to go to college out East, like I did, but there is always summer school in Boston, and grad school wherever they want. 

Would you make this choice for your kids?  Or have it as a fall back and let them choose the school or the money (to buy a house or something)?  One of the nice features of 529s is that you can always change the beneficiary or you are allowed to withdraw an amount equivalent to a scholarship without penalty.  But not saving in hopes of this working is not really a responsible option as you never know what'll happen (they outsource their project management between now and then, get rid of the perk, etc.)

House Stalking

Three guesses who this is...

 

A fellow '99er in a yearbook profile

It probably goes without saying that I'm not a fan, but we were college classmates and I have a weakness for houses. 

I recently got my nails done for the first time in over a year (the only place I read the rags) and saw that she (Elisabeth Hasselbeck) bought a new house in Greenwich.  She and her family, Tim (a '00 grad) is now a fantasy football analyst and their three young kids, were most recently Upper West Siders, but they've fled to the burbs, giving her View driver quite a hike.

Their old place was 2,300 sq. ft (for the low 3's).  You have to think that she could have gotten more for it had it been better/professionally decorated and staged, but I digress...

Now I love blue more than anyone, but I'm not sure all this cornflower works

 but love the built-ins and the cabinets

 

and the rug...

 

the view that The View bought...

  

 

Hey, that's my chainlink rug in the den



And the new place...

Apparently $4MM will buy a nice 7,600 sq ft. Colonial in foreclosure in CT, though her decorator has a LOT of work to do...  It would be interesting to see when they make it theirs.  Who am I kidding?  Most people only head to the shelter mags when they are going to put their house on the market.  Have you noticed that too?

 

Nice curb appeal

 

The man and his dog in a painting.  It is too much.

 

I actually really like the master as is, but it seems like it is in a different house

 

Love Serena and Lily?

I didn't end up using them much for our nursery, but they have lots of great finds (love their Hanna jammies) and non-baby stuff too.  Get $100 credit for $50 from Bloomspot (you can buy more than one!) for the next ten days only!  Enjoy!

Shopping Small

Being small business owners ourselves, DH and I try to make an effort to patronize local and small businesses whenever we can.  But honestly, it is difficult and getting more so all the time.  I actually had to look up where to spend our credits for Small Business Saturday last weekend (we ended up at our fave local sushi place and produce market to spend both), since it was not usable online like last year. 

Even though it is super close, Wal-mart is already on the "avoid if at all possible" list and Amazon is working hard to get itself on there too because of their sketchy business practices.  When you have two small kids, online shopping is nothing short of a godsend, but so is the chance to get out of the house once in awhile, even when it is with said children. 

Where we live is adjacent to the largest single retail area in the state (i.e. the mall is somehow/sadly the largest tourist attraction in all of IL.)  While this means that conveniently pretty much every store has an outlet within minutes and many of my faves: Costco (double carts, samples), Whole Foods (underground heated parking), IKEA (dark chocolate, and soon Smaland), Target, Buy Buy Baby, Baby Gap, Anthro, Starbucks, Janie & Jack, etc., etc., it is also heavily dominated by chain stores.  After living in Wellesley (Natick), Brighton (Chestnut Hill), and downtown Chicago, my mom still jokes (only half jokingly) that I choose where to live based on the local shopping.  One of my fave kid's stores is Land of Nod, which started as a small business, but was then bought by Crate and Barrel (a Chicago institution), which the Segals have since sold to a German retail conglomerate.

One of my fave new finds this year has been The Honest Company, which was co-founded by Jessica Alba (probably the least interesting thing about and best thing for marketing the company).  Their stuff (natural and adorable diapers, baby and beauty products, and household cleaners) is not cheap, but it is really nice.  We've been happy with everything we've tried, and we've tried almost everything.  I highly recommend it if you are inclined to such products, shopping small (if not always local), and patronizing responsible companies.

Divali

So skinny, but such a strong girl

And busy, and into everything

Visiting with great G-ma G over Thanksgiving

Don't let the innocent face fool you, she's trouble...

Real life with a sensitive child...