"Mari" "List"-mas!
Warm holiday wishes to you and yours.
xo,
Marielle & Alistair
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Autonomy
Though you certainly don't need to be a parent to understand the horror of what happened in Connecticut last week (and frankly as an infertile, I find the repeated illusion to this pretty offensive). As I along with many other parents first impulse was to wish we could put our kids back in our wombs or at least locked in the house to protect them from violent evil in the world (which obviously is not a positive solution to a very sad and complicated problem), I was ironically simultaneously marking the end of our very long physical journey through getting my body ready to pregnant, trying to get pregnant, drugging up in hopes of getting pregnant, drugging up to stay pregnant, being confined to bed to stay pregnant, getting sliced open to give birth, and then nursing/pumping for the last twelve months while caring for two infants. A good five plus years in all.
And now I have complete personal physical autonomy, and it feels great, if almost completely foreign. As I expected, my energy level rebounded almost immediately after I stopped pumping last week, thank goodness. I ended up stopping a few days early as my transition down to one pump a day didn't last long as my supply dropped off the cliff. I can only hope my cycles don't kick my ass when they eventually return. My elder sister, the uber fertile with a nearly three decade history of gyne issues, opted to get a hysterectomy last week with her diastasis repair, as hers were so bad after her last pregnancy.
Even in the many months that I was getting full nights of sleep, the pumping was syphoning off every bit of extra energy that I had. I was literally not able to eat or sleep enough to not feel like I was starving and exhausted all the time and I was eating a lot, all the time. And while I know you can, and many do, drink while breastfeeding, I found that even a little wine would not only make me more tired, it would kill my supply, which was already an issue that we battled for so long.
Now I just need to set about getting back all the strength I lost from being on bed rest. Honestly, going to the gym has been near the bottom of the list of my priorities. I knew BFing and chasing after the kids this last year would make my 50 pound pregnancy weight gain evaporate, but I was often reminded of the fact that had I had the energy to devote to getting my strength back, it would have likely made my daily care taking responsibilities easier, or least less pain inducing. I have been back to the chiropractor for awhile now, though I know that she can not fix what I need to do for myself.
Thankfully, there are many things I do well, but obviously the key elements of reproduction are not any of them. How amazing is it that I/we live in a time when people with all my issues are able to become parents? Truly amazing...
And now I have complete personal physical autonomy, and it feels great, if almost completely foreign. As I expected, my energy level rebounded almost immediately after I stopped pumping last week, thank goodness. I ended up stopping a few days early as my transition down to one pump a day didn't last long as my supply dropped off the cliff. I can only hope my cycles don't kick my ass when they eventually return. My elder sister, the uber fertile with a nearly three decade history of gyne issues, opted to get a hysterectomy last week with her diastasis repair, as hers were so bad after her last pregnancy.
Even in the many months that I was getting full nights of sleep, the pumping was syphoning off every bit of extra energy that I had. I was literally not able to eat or sleep enough to not feel like I was starving and exhausted all the time and I was eating a lot, all the time. And while I know you can, and many do, drink while breastfeeding, I found that even a little wine would not only make me more tired, it would kill my supply, which was already an issue that we battled for so long.
Now I just need to set about getting back all the strength I lost from being on bed rest. Honestly, going to the gym has been near the bottom of the list of my priorities. I knew BFing and chasing after the kids this last year would make my 50 pound pregnancy weight gain evaporate, but I was often reminded of the fact that had I had the energy to devote to getting my strength back, it would have likely made my daily care taking responsibilities easier, or least less pain inducing. I have been back to the chiropractor for awhile now, though I know that she can not fix what I need to do for myself.
Thankfully, there are many things I do well, but obviously the key elements of reproduction are not any of them. How amazing is it that I/we live in a time when people with all my issues are able to become parents? Truly amazing...
Saturday, December 22, 2012
12 month stats and Chicago at Christmas
The kids had their twelve month check up today, so we made the trip in to their pedi's new office, well the temporary one as his other floor is being built out.
Dr. Weissbluth (the Junior) just started his own practice and since we like him and we've been seeing him since the twins were in the hospital, we made the move with him. I think he's a bit younger than us and single (how I have no idea) which he randomly mentioned today after asking us how we met. Must think of someone to set him up with.
He's gone all digital, so we no longer get the little slip with the kids' stats like at the old practice, which we didn't realize until after the appt., though we went through all of it together. Their growth curves are very consistent, weights are still in the ~35th percentiles and heads in the 85th. I think her height was about 65%. He is crazy long, up to the 95%ile now, making me wonder if he'd be even taller had he not been so disadvantaged in utero, resulting in his disproportionately tiny size at birth.
Alistair:
12 months: 20 lbs. 10 ozs., 31"
Nine months: 19 lbs. 5 ozs., 29 1/2", head: 46.1 cm.
Six months: 16 lbs. 15.5 ozs, 27 3/4", head: 44.7 cm.
Four months: 14 lbs., 25", head: 42.2 cm.
Two months: 10 lbs. 2 ozs., 22 1/2", head: 39.5 cm
Three weeks: 6 lbs. 9 ozs.
Two weeks: 5 lbs. 15 ozs. (he surpasses her for the 1st time)
One week: 5 lbs. 6 ozs.
Four days/hospital release: 5 lbs. 2 ozs.
Birth @ 36w4d (breech/IUGR?): 5 lbs. 7 ozs. (5%), 18.25" (10%)
Marielle:
12 months: 18 lbs. 8 ozs., 29 1/2"
Nine months: 16 lbs. 11 ozs., 28", head: 44.9 cm.
Six months: 14 lbs. 10 ozs.,26 1/4", head: 43 cm.
Four months: 12 lbs. 7 ozs., 24 1/2", head: 41.2 cm.
Two months: 9 lbs. 9 ozs., 21 3/4", head: 38.7 cm.
Three weeks: 6 lbs. 7 ozs. (finally surpasses BW)
Two weeks: 5 lbs. 12 ozs.
One week: 5 lbs. 7 ozs.
Four days/hospital release: 5 lbs. 3 ozs. (unexplained 14% weight loss, day one)
Birth @ 36w4d: 6 lbs. 1 ozs., 19" (25%)
They did pretty well with their shots, thankfully, and we followed it up with a great lunch at Iberico (the best Tapas in the city), and a quick visit from Santa as we passed by The Peninsula to get mommy some of the best hot chocolate anywhere outside of France.
Nice view, huh?
(minus the mediocre iphone pics)
Dr. Weissbluth (the Junior) just started his own practice and since we like him and we've been seeing him since the twins were in the hospital, we made the move with him. I think he's a bit younger than us and single (how I have no idea) which he randomly mentioned today after asking us how we met. Must think of someone to set him up with.
He's gone all digital, so we no longer get the little slip with the kids' stats like at the old practice, which we didn't realize until after the appt., though we went through all of it together. Their growth curves are very consistent, weights are still in the ~35th percentiles and heads in the 85th. I think her height was about 65%. He is crazy long, up to the 95%ile now, making me wonder if he'd be even taller had he not been so disadvantaged in utero, resulting in his disproportionately tiny size at birth.
Alistair:
12 months: 20 lbs. 10 ozs., 31"
Nine months: 19 lbs. 5 ozs., 29 1/2", head: 46.1 cm.
Six months: 16 lbs. 15.5 ozs, 27 3/4", head: 44.7 cm.
Four months: 14 lbs., 25", head: 42.2 cm.
Two months: 10 lbs. 2 ozs., 22 1/2", head: 39.5 cm
Three weeks: 6 lbs. 9 ozs.
Two weeks: 5 lbs. 15 ozs. (he surpasses her for the 1st time)
One week: 5 lbs. 6 ozs.
Four days/hospital release: 5 lbs. 2 ozs.
Birth @ 36w4d (breech/IUGR?): 5 lbs. 7 ozs. (5%), 18.25" (10%)
Marielle:
12 months: 18 lbs. 8 ozs., 29 1/2"
Nine months: 16 lbs. 11 ozs., 28", head: 44.9 cm.
Six months: 14 lbs. 10 ozs.,26 1/4", head: 43 cm.
Four months: 12 lbs. 7 ozs., 24 1/2", head: 41.2 cm.
Two months: 9 lbs. 9 ozs., 21 3/4", head: 38.7 cm.
Three weeks: 6 lbs. 7 ozs. (finally surpasses BW)
Two weeks: 5 lbs. 12 ozs.
One week: 5 lbs. 7 ozs.
Four days/hospital release: 5 lbs. 3 ozs. (unexplained 14% weight loss, day one)
Birth @ 36w4d: 6 lbs. 1 ozs., 19" (25%)
They did pretty well with their shots, thankfully, and we followed it up with a great lunch at Iberico (the best Tapas in the city), and a quick visit from Santa as we passed by The Peninsula to get mommy some of the best hot chocolate anywhere outside of France.
He gave them each Santa bears from his bag, which is funny because we got "paged" walking down Michigan Avenue last week, so they already had one Santa bear and one Peninsula Mini Cooper.
I have no idea why I posed in front of their foo dog. I think foo dogs are super creepy, but they are an Asian chain, so I guess it makes sense they have them out front.
A little more Chicago for you...
A wreathed lion at the Art Institute
Love this city...
Thursday, December 20, 2012
The twins' first birthday
After a very sad week, we celebrated the twins' first birthday today. I will never say enough how lucky we are to be their parents and that they are here with us and not in heaven with their sister. Each and every moment and day is a gift.
It was a low key day for us, as we are bracing for what passes for a snow storm these days.
The cupcakes were a big hit and a big mess, so after some baths we opened a few birthday gifts, which each year will get to be under the Christmas tree. So much fun and they are pros already.
I figure it will take us several days of trying to get some good pics under the tree, so we've already begun. The fun of getting past the barricade that usually surrounds it includes eating pine needles, moving the gifts to get to the trunk so you can get sap on your fingers and lick it off, and of course fun with ornaments. Good times.
Sorting through all the pictures we've taken over the last year in preparation for their party reminds me just how far they have come. They were so so small and so (dare I say) sickly looking for so long, but now he is huge and she just started cruising the furniture. I wasn't sure we'd get here, but here we are. We love you more and more every day.
It was a low key day for us, as we are bracing for what passes for a snow storm these days.
The cupcakes were a big hit and a big mess, so after some baths we opened a few birthday gifts, which each year will get to be under the Christmas tree. So much fun and they are pros already.
I figure it will take us several days of trying to get some good pics under the tree, so we've already begun. The fun of getting past the barricade that usually surrounds it includes eating pine needles, moving the gifts to get to the trunk so you can get sap on your fingers and lick it off, and of course fun with ornaments. Good times.
Sorting through all the pictures we've taken over the last year in preparation for their party reminds me just how far they have come. They were so so small and so (dare I say) sickly looking for so long, but now he is huge and she just started cruising the furniture. I wasn't sure we'd get here, but here we are. We love you more and more every day.
Friday, December 7, 2012
Holiday Cards 2012
Since the twins (thankfully) didn't make their appearance until Christmas week last year, and I had no desire to send out pregnant pictures of myself, their birth announcements served as our slightly belated holiday greetings.
This year, we're a little behind, again. We had our photo shoot in late October, but didn't get the CD until late November, and as our mailbox fills with cards from more organized people, I've only just gotten ours out of production. I had been looking at the paisley beauties from Erin Condren, but then I thought I ought to spread the love around, since we used her bright confetti/jack design for their announcements, coordinating family cards and thank yous and the twins' first birthday party invites and thank yous. I found some pretties on Shutterfly, designed by none other than local Chicago shop Float Paperie, and I think they look just great with our pics.
And on the back...
This year, we're a little behind, again. We had our photo shoot in late October, but didn't get the CD until late November, and as our mailbox fills with cards from more organized people, I've only just gotten ours out of production. I had been looking at the paisley beauties from Erin Condren, but then I thought I ought to spread the love around, since we used her bright confetti/jack design for their announcements, coordinating family cards and thank yous and the twins' first birthday party invites and thank yous. I found some pretties on Shutterfly, designed by none other than local Chicago shop Float Paperie, and I think they look just great with our pics.
And on the back...
Monday, December 3, 2012
Babies!
They say that in America, our celebrities are our royalty, well I couldn't care less about celebrities. The palace has just confirmed that Kate is (finally) expecting! I can't even imagine this being my primary function in life and having so many people watching and waiting. It's already been almost two years (a new record for an heir apparently) since I and half the free world got up early to watch their wedding when I was on bedrest (the first time) just after our twins were transferred. We also just found out yesterday that DH's only brother and his new wife are also expecting their first child.
So excited for them!
I may be one of the only infertiles in the world who doesn't really sweat other people getting pg and having babies. I can honestly say that even as my elder sister was doing her Tori Spelling thing, four in five years including a whoops beginning after I got engaged, it didn't phase me, except that I worry for her children. We have very different life philosophies in general and she sees fit to try to rectify our crappy upbringing by living our parents' divergent dreams (mom: becoming an SLP and having four kids and staying home, and my dad: living on the land (at least 40 acres) with her own dose of crazy homeschooling and whatnot thrown in. A shrink for yourself is cheaper than messing up your kids. Anywho, I digress.
I'll admit it was really really tough for me were when I had three very close friends announce the arrival or pending in lousy ways while were in India for my FIL's funeral after our first IVF cycle got cancelled. Then I happened to have several friends who gave birth in the days after we lost our littlest girl two years ago and that shaded my ability to rejoice with them during that time (sorry ladies). Otherwise, IF is a long hard slog for so many and IMO made so much harder when we can't find a way to separate ourselves from what other people are doing. I guess I'm odd in that I don't spend a lot of time comparing my self to my peers. I have my own goals. I was mad I couldn't meet them and (enter cheeseball) "live the life I imagined". Theirs have little to do with mine. I like to think about it like waiting for DH to come into my life. I had to "kiss a lot of frogs", each of which taught me about myself and what I did and didn't want. I had SO many younger friends, cousins, and sisters get married before me (at nearly 30), some of them to the wrong guys, but despairing about that wouldn't have gotten me anywhere. It would however have made me miserable (a nice trait in a catch) and hurt our friendships, which I treasured.
I know it is so so hard to see the forest for the trees, but that is my infertility/life wisdom FWIW.
Speaking of trees, we ventured out in the super warm weather to get our Christmas tree over the weekend...
With no snow, which didn't allow us to use the twins' personal sleigh, we skipped the tree farm this year again and headed back to our local parish which sells really nice trees, so at least it is still going to a cause. Last year, I picked our tree from them from the car.
The lovely gentlemen at the Knights of Columbus took several pictures of us with the tree after we picked it out, but of course for some reason there weren't actually pictures being taken. Boo hiss. Lesson learned.
So excited for them!
I may be one of the only infertiles in the world who doesn't really sweat other people getting pg and having babies. I can honestly say that even as my elder sister was doing her Tori Spelling thing, four in five years including a whoops beginning after I got engaged, it didn't phase me, except that I worry for her children. We have very different life philosophies in general and she sees fit to try to rectify our crappy upbringing by living our parents' divergent dreams (mom: becoming an SLP and having four kids and staying home, and my dad: living on the land (at least 40 acres) with her own dose of crazy homeschooling and whatnot thrown in. A shrink for yourself is cheaper than messing up your kids. Anywho, I digress.
I'll admit it was really really tough for me were when I had three very close friends announce the arrival or pending in lousy ways while were in India for my FIL's funeral after our first IVF cycle got cancelled. Then I happened to have several friends who gave birth in the days after we lost our littlest girl two years ago and that shaded my ability to rejoice with them during that time (sorry ladies). Otherwise, IF is a long hard slog for so many and IMO made so much harder when we can't find a way to separate ourselves from what other people are doing. I guess I'm odd in that I don't spend a lot of time comparing my self to my peers. I have my own goals. I was mad I couldn't meet them and (enter cheeseball) "live the life I imagined". Theirs have little to do with mine. I like to think about it like waiting for DH to come into my life. I had to "kiss a lot of frogs", each of which taught me about myself and what I did and didn't want. I had SO many younger friends, cousins, and sisters get married before me (at nearly 30), some of them to the wrong guys, but despairing about that wouldn't have gotten me anywhere. It would however have made me miserable (a nice trait in a catch) and hurt our friendships, which I treasured.
I know it is so so hard to see the forest for the trees, but that is my infertility/life wisdom FWIW.
Speaking of trees, we ventured out in the super warm weather to get our Christmas tree over the weekend...
With no snow, which didn't allow us to use the twins' personal sleigh, we skipped the tree farm this year again and headed back to our local parish which sells really nice trees, so at least it is still going to a cause. Last year, I picked our tree from them from the car.
The lovely gentlemen at the Knights of Columbus took several pictures of us with the tree after we picked it out, but of course for some reason there weren't actually pictures being taken. Boo hiss. Lesson learned.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
What would you do for a million dollars?
...To send your two kids to college... (That's what it will cost in 20 years BTW, and we thought infertility treatments were expensive)
DH and I already think/talk/plan a lot for our kids' futures (we're planners like that) and the other day on our long road trip up north we were talking about a friend and engineer colleague of DH's who since he is employed by a top university just north of Chicago, which DH does many projects for, he would have been able to send his daughter there for free. Though she decided to study elsewhere farther from home (his wife is a prominent attorney and their younger daughter is disabled) so they ended up not getting it gratis in the end. I'm familiar with this lovely perk, several of my professors and staff back in the day did or were planning to take advantage of this, but of course it eliminates the options that your kids have when it comes to college picking, so we discussed how important it is for kids to have this choice.
I know when I was looking at colleges, my parents were pretty hands off, like with most things, though they both made it known that our state university would be just fine with them. So I applied to and was accepted into their honors program as one of my fall back options. While a great school, it was too big and too Greek for me. When I applied early to my first choice (an Ivy) and was deferred to the regular admission pool, I was pissed and decided to go to my second choice (a seven sister), which I quickly got very excited about. Unfortunately, I ended up being very unhappy with the environment and education generally, though I made some great friends, so I transferred out to another school in Boston after my sophomore year. I have warm feelings for the school I graduated from, though it could not have been more different than the first. I wouldn't necessarily recommend the course I took to finish my degree, but I own it and I think where you choose to go to school is one of the more important and earliest big decisions you make as a young adult.
Though it would likely mean a pay cut for him to work on the other side when the time came (he's a consultant), it obviously would pay off in the end. I'd love for the kids to go to college out East, like I did, but there is always summer school in Boston, and grad school wherever they want.
Would you make this choice for your kids? Or have it as a fall back and let them choose the school or the money (to buy a house or something)? One of the nice features of 529s is that you can always change the beneficiary or you are allowed to withdraw an amount equivalent to a scholarship without penalty. But not saving in hopes of this working is not really a responsible option as you never know what'll happen (they outsource their project management between now and then, get rid of the perk, etc.)
DH and I already think/talk/plan a lot for our kids' futures (we're planners like that) and the other day on our long road trip up north we were talking about a friend and engineer colleague of DH's who since he is employed by a top university just north of Chicago, which DH does many projects for, he would have been able to send his daughter there for free. Though she decided to study elsewhere farther from home (his wife is a prominent attorney and their younger daughter is disabled) so they ended up not getting it gratis in the end. I'm familiar with this lovely perk, several of my professors and staff back in the day did or were planning to take advantage of this, but of course it eliminates the options that your kids have when it comes to college picking, so we discussed how important it is for kids to have this choice.
I know when I was looking at colleges, my parents were pretty hands off, like with most things, though they both made it known that our state university would be just fine with them. So I applied to and was accepted into their honors program as one of my fall back options. While a great school, it was too big and too Greek for me. When I applied early to my first choice (an Ivy) and was deferred to the regular admission pool, I was pissed and decided to go to my second choice (a seven sister), which I quickly got very excited about. Unfortunately, I ended up being very unhappy with the environment and education generally, though I made some great friends, so I transferred out to another school in Boston after my sophomore year. I have warm feelings for the school I graduated from, though it could not have been more different than the first. I wouldn't necessarily recommend the course I took to finish my degree, but I own it and I think where you choose to go to school is one of the more important and earliest big decisions you make as a young adult.
Though it would likely mean a pay cut for him to work on the other side when the time came (he's a consultant), it obviously would pay off in the end. I'd love for the kids to go to college out East, like I did, but there is always summer school in Boston, and grad school wherever they want.
Would you make this choice for your kids? Or have it as a fall back and let them choose the school or the money (to buy a house or something)? One of the nice features of 529s is that you can always change the beneficiary or you are allowed to withdraw an amount equivalent to a scholarship without penalty. But not saving in hopes of this working is not really a responsible option as you never know what'll happen (they outsource their project management between now and then, get rid of the perk, etc.)
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