I have to admit I'm writing and writing lots of pointless crap and not publishing any of it. Sorry... (or maybe I should say you're welcome ;) ) Work is nuts and I'm alternating between it, the boards, and the "private" blog, as to support my girls, clear my ridiculously cluttered head, and avoid spending any money online shopping (hello teeny paychecks in November).
I don't have much to report on the IVF front. Besides not sleeping well (I sleep great until 3-4am, then I lay in bed for hours), which is nothing new, I'm not having any real side effects from the Lupron. Hope AF comes as scheduled this weekend and we can get this show on the road finally. My last day of work before my leave is next Wednesday and I cannot wait!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Wishing I was home
So it's catching up with me, not sleeping well that is. I'm tired and feel like crap. I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't want to be here when I'm doing this. I am supposed to be home starting next Thursday, but of course I have an obscene amount of work to do between now and then. Whoever thought it was a good idea to have me on the project that the goals of the entire company apparently rest on, was out of their mind. :/ Can we start a countdown to March?
This is what I'm supposed to be up to tonight, if I don't fall asleep before then. I haven't been to Tru since they were the hot new place in town a decade ago. I'm a sucker for magazine parties, it'll be a nice little deja vu from my ad agency days...
This is what I'm supposed to be up to tonight, if I don't fall asleep before then. I haven't been to Tru since they were the hot new place in town a decade ago. I'm a sucker for magazine parties, it'll be a nice little deja vu from my ad agency days...
Monday, October 25, 2010
Lupron
Is not my enemy yet... I'm two days in and doing okay. I'm going to get good at doing the injects in my car, as I have evening plans almost every night this week. Wish me luck.
Great news on my sister, her wash lab came back negative this weekend, so no chemo. We are all beyond thrilled. Thanks for all your T&P.
Great news on my sister, her wash lab came back negative this weekend, so no chemo. We are all beyond thrilled. Thanks for all your T&P.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Leaving my bags at the door...
I realize this title could be taken a number of different ways, but it's my way of saying that we are trying to move past the last two years of heartache (and honestly a lot of emotional baggage) that has brought us to this point. Trying to clear my head and open my heart to what is to come. We have a plan to cycle again if this doesn't work. Here.we.go...
Your horoscope for October 23, 2010
Things that have been out of whack in your life should begin to come back into balance again, Katherine. The bad news is that it may take a while for the pendulum to return to the point you want it to, but the good news is that this shift is taking place. It will be a slow and gradual change, but you are at a pivotal point in which you can set your sights on exactly what you want.
Your horoscope for October 23, 2010
Things that have been out of whack in your life should begin to come back into balance again, Katherine. The bad news is that it may take a while for the pendulum to return to the point you want it to, but the good news is that this shift is taking place. It will be a slow and gradual change, but you are at a pivotal point in which you can set your sights on exactly what you want.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Two Years
Is how long we've now been trying to get pregnant... But I start Lupron tomorrow. :)
It's funny that this "anniversary" happens to coincide with the electoral cycle, but only a political junkie like me would probably even notice this.
Two years ago...
-We had been together for almost four years, in our house for nearly three, and had recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary.
-It was the short window in the year when we are both the same age, at that time, 32.
-S had finally received his permanent residency (after ten yrs of slogging and waiting and unimaginable employer snafus) and had just taken his big PE exam (after many more unexpected delays), finally freeing him to look for a new job (which also coincidentally brought us our current IF bennies).
-I had been at my last job for a year, and was therefore finally FMLA and almost full STD eligible, but bigger yet, my boss, who had just buried her husband of eight years after he battled brain cancer for five, had just returned to work. The bottom had fallen out of the economy, but we would work for a few more months on the CEO's pet project until our VP (and many others) were let go, the project was cancelled, and we were left in limbo for months until we were finally reassigned.
-I had been off the pill for nearly two years (after ten years on them) and was super regular, boosting my confidence that even though my period had been wacky in my teens, that we would be able to get pregnant fairly easily. Oh, the wishful thinking...
-My sister was getting ready to have her second baby in as many years (she now, of course, has another). My best friend from college, married a year, had just had her first (she now has a second), but otherwise most of my close friends didn't have kids, now of course most of them do.
Since then:
-We've been to five different RE's at four clinics in two states. I've had three surgeries (two of them a complete waste) and have been on more meds than I care to recall. S has had three SA's and has been to a urologist. We've done three failed treatment cycles. I've had more Dr's appts., blood drawn, and transvag u/s than I can even begin to count. We've already spent thousands and thousands of dollars OOP, even though we have IF coverage and a $250 deductible PPO.
-On the family front, we've sadly and prematurely lost my father-in-law, who two years ago was doing absolutely fabulous after having emergency bypass surgery the previous year. My sister's new baby was dx with craniosynostosis (which was corrected by surgery) but thankfully is not afflicted with a syndrome. My older sister was dx with cancer, which is thankfully stage 1. And my grandmother and the matriarch of my family was dx with terminal lymphoma.
If we'd been successful at the start, we'd have a nearly 16 month old toddler and would be trying for #2. Who knows, I could still have two by the time I turn 35. ;) Now wouldn't that be ironic, talk about taking the long hard road...
It's funny that this "anniversary" happens to coincide with the electoral cycle, but only a political junkie like me would probably even notice this.
Two years ago...
-We had been together for almost four years, in our house for nearly three, and had recently celebrated our second wedding anniversary.
-It was the short window in the year when we are both the same age, at that time, 32.
-S had finally received his permanent residency (after ten yrs of slogging and waiting and unimaginable employer snafus) and had just taken his big PE exam (after many more unexpected delays), finally freeing him to look for a new job (which also coincidentally brought us our current IF bennies).
-I had been at my last job for a year, and was therefore finally FMLA and almost full STD eligible, but bigger yet, my boss, who had just buried her husband of eight years after he battled brain cancer for five, had just returned to work. The bottom had fallen out of the economy, but we would work for a few more months on the CEO's pet project until our VP (and many others) were let go, the project was cancelled, and we were left in limbo for months until we were finally reassigned.
-I had been off the pill for nearly two years (after ten years on them) and was super regular, boosting my confidence that even though my period had been wacky in my teens, that we would be able to get pregnant fairly easily. Oh, the wishful thinking...
-My sister was getting ready to have her second baby in as many years (she now, of course, has another). My best friend from college, married a year, had just had her first (she now has a second), but otherwise most of my close friends didn't have kids, now of course most of them do.
Since then:
-We've been to five different RE's at four clinics in two states. I've had three surgeries (two of them a complete waste) and have been on more meds than I care to recall. S has had three SA's and has been to a urologist. We've done three failed treatment cycles. I've had more Dr's appts., blood drawn, and transvag u/s than I can even begin to count. We've already spent thousands and thousands of dollars OOP, even though we have IF coverage and a $250 deductible PPO.
-On the family front, we've sadly and prematurely lost my father-in-law, who two years ago was doing absolutely fabulous after having emergency bypass surgery the previous year. My sister's new baby was dx with craniosynostosis (which was corrected by surgery) but thankfully is not afflicted with a syndrome. My older sister was dx with cancer, which is thankfully stage 1. And my grandmother and the matriarch of my family was dx with terminal lymphoma.
If we'd been successful at the start, we'd have a nearly 16 month old toddler and would be trying for #2. Who knows, I could still have two by the time I turn 35. ;) Now wouldn't that be ironic, talk about taking the long hard road...
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Good news/bad news
This is how things work for us, but you know you gotta worry about the big stuff and let the other stuff slide...
Sara is getting ready to head home tonight, she is doing so well. What a trooper! All her path reports just came back fine, her other tube had a benign cyst. We are just waiting on her wash report (to see if there are any free cells that are cancerous). If that is negative, then she can avoid chemo, which is no small blessing.
My niece also got a clear today from the plastic surgeon @ Mayo that she won't need any more surgery, at least in the short term, which is also huge.
S's 3rd SA came back today. Count was amazing (as always), morphology up to 4% (but still low), motility down to 48% (this is the first time this has been an issue). Since it's too late to do much for our cycle, we confirmed that we are doing ICSI. But we are looking into supplements, in case this isn't our last cycle.
Boy, we sure do keep the doctors and surgeons busy...
Sara is getting ready to head home tonight, she is doing so well. What a trooper! All her path reports just came back fine, her other tube had a benign cyst. We are just waiting on her wash report (to see if there are any free cells that are cancerous). If that is negative, then she can avoid chemo, which is no small blessing.
My niece also got a clear today from the plastic surgeon @ Mayo that she won't need any more surgery, at least in the short term, which is also huge.
S's 3rd SA came back today. Count was amazing (as always), morphology up to 4% (but still low), motility down to 48% (this is the first time this has been an issue). Since it's too late to do much for our cycle, we confirmed that we are doing ICSI. But we are looking into supplements, in case this isn't our last cycle.
Boy, we sure do keep the doctors and surgeons busy...
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Sara update
After two hours of surgery today and 70 (yes, I said 70) biopsies, Sara is recovering at the hospital. She will be there for another 3-4 days, depending on how things go. We could know something from pathology by that time or at the latest next week. The surgeon said the remaining tube looked like the first (i.e. cancerous). Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers.
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