Starting 2016

I haven't been much of a blogger lately, but I have been slogging it out for awhile.  I'm entering my seventh year, though it has been much quieter around here since the kids were born.  It says something about my corporate job (and infertility too, I suppose), that the bulk of my nearly 600 posts came in those early years.  This outlet still holds a place for me that my other social media outlets don't and can't.  Facebook is not a blog (repeat after me) and neither is Pinterest or even Instagram.  And since I'm not selling anything over here (or anywhere), I have a little bit of a different take on each.

I'm finally getting around to reading "Quiet", which is amazing so far.  (Introverts unite!)  And looking forward to finishing it, so I can start on "When Breath Becomes Air" (you can read about it more on Cup of Jo and in the NYT) and then "We Should All Be Feminists" and "Between the World and Me".  One of my goals this year is to read more books...and actually finish them.  I've long been the queen of leaving books unfinished, and being on all the time for two busy preschoolers surely doesn't help.

The kids are doing great and we're all keeping busy.  We've done all sorts of classes over the years, but now we are trying to settle into a sport (dance for her since last fall, t-ball for him) and an instrument (piano for them both), though we'll mix it up come summer (tennis, soccer?).  We took a trip to the ENT to have Alistair's tonsils looked at and it turns out they are fine.  We are finally kicking whatever virus(es) have been plaguing us for the last few months.  Round and around it/they went...

If you aren't watching the last season of Downton Abbey, the last episode highlights that (spoiler alert!) having an incompetent cervix/infertility and cerclages are not new things.  And that others have had to move all the way to Boston to find themselves... I'm really going to miss that show (and yes I cheated and already watched the entire UK season online.).  Waiting for new Master of None and House of Cards (thank God for Netflix).

We just marked a decade in our house (and me in the burbs, the same amount of time I spent in Boston and Chicago combined), which means I've just now eclipsed even my childhood home for my longest tenured abode.  And we are finally almost done with the things we wanted to do here.  And in a few short months, it will be our tenth anniversary and my 40th birthday, which is all kind of crazy to think about.  So milestones and goals abound...

I still need to put together a post on our warm and wet holiday roadtrip to Nashville and NW Florida, so stay tuned!

The Old Crew

One of the most fun things about scouring around the design world is finding new (to me) people and things, but maybe even more fun is coming across old to me people who you haven't run into in a very long time.

A friend of mine from my college rowing days is now an interior designer (after giving up a lucrative career in big law), and I happily came across her again recently (via Houzz and House & Home).  Breeze is super talented (obviously) and I was so happy to see her gorgeous interiors.  This project in DC, was one of my faves.  So yummy...

Transitional Living Room by Malibu Interior Designers & Decorators BGDB Interior Design

Transitional Dining Room by Malibu Interior Designers & Decorators BGDB Interior Design

And speaking of crew, I'm also finally reading the book, The Boys in the Boat, which is the story of the US men's crew team who beat the Nazi German team to win the gold at the 1936 Olympics in Berlin.  It's a great story and currently being made into a movie.  Can't wait to see it!

New Books and Updates

Some of you may remember my post last year about Deanna Fei and the blow up at AOL.  She did what writers do and has written a book about her experience and having a micro preemie, who is now a toddler.

Of course this week's (year's/decade's) biggest launch is Harper Lee's "Go Set a Watchman", which is also out tomorrow.  The first chapter has already been released, if you want to catch a peek. (I would advise against listening to Reese Witherspoon read the audio version, as it is pretty annoying). 

I'm taking my copy with me out of town later this week.  I'm headed out to NY to see my sister and friends in Brooklyn and then heading out to the Hamptons.  Sadly, I'm just missing the Hampton Designer Showhouse this year by a few days, as it was fun last time.  But I have lots of other fun on tap.

We are surviving the summer of the mother in law so far.  I am truly the most optimistic (or forgetful or delusional, take your pick) person, as I tried to spin the whole thing as a positive.  Now I find out that much of why she came now is that the communal living situation in India is not working out for her and my brother/sister in law.  I guess they and their daughter/my niece are moving out and getting their own place so the big flat that my later father in law spent so much time planning for all of them (and us) was a bit misguided.  Oh well.

The kids are three and a half now and huge (~3 1/2 ft/35 lbs.) and busy.  I'm buying size five clothes for them now, which makes me wonder where my little ones went and so quickly.  They are fighting potty training (yes, still) with all their inherited strong will, so I hope to not be sending them to kindergarten in pull-ups. 

I've also realized that I never shared their big kid rooms from last summer, so time to clean up and take some pics to share.

Hard to believe the summer is half over already, hope you are having a great one.

Madeline turns 75

Hope you are having a delightful Spring! Easter and Mother's Day has just rolled into the Memorial Day weekend, so summer is finally upon us!  The kids are finishing up school and getting geared up for camp and pool season.

We are serious book (and Maddie) lovers over here, so I was so excited to hear that Madeline is turning 75. And of course there is a commemorative edition of the first book released to mark the occasion, along with the New York Historical Society displaying more than 90 original works by Ludwig Bemelmans from July-Oct..  Enjoy!

 

 

Speech graduation

Enjoying our favorite new local restaurant

So it seems a bit odd to be writing this, since we just met and decided to continue, but that is how quickly language explosions happen.  It's been a busy couple of months and weeks of talking for our little chatter boxes, but in today's session it became very obvious to both our speech therapist and me that the twins were ready to graduate and be dismissed from treatment.  So there you go!

She is sweet and assured us that we are doing a great job creating "a language rich environment" and she said with two such involved parents, the kids will continue to do well.  Cue tears.  Love those kiddos!

We're enjoying a visit w/my dad and step-mom and work has officially started on the kitchen!  She brought me an advance copy of the now available, "All Joy and No Fun."  Have you heard about it?  The interviews I've seen/heard with the author, Jennifer Senior, are full of intriguing factoids.  Can't wait to read it.

Tiger Mom strikes again

I just finished "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" (out in early 2011, now in paperback, and a quick and easy read), and I guess I can see why it was so controversial given traditional American parenting styles (which would peg her as crazy and verbally abusive), but it is a satirical memoir, not a parenting handbook.  People take memoirs so seriously.  She (author Amy Chua) has a new book coming out next month which is already making waves.

She and her husband  (fellow Yale law professor, Jed Rubenfeld) have coauthored a book called  "The Triple Package..." about the three traits that they've found (in their research and from other data) make for success.  The "controversial" part of this one is they've singled out particular ethnic/religious/immigrant groups in America who they've found tend to possess these traits, which conveniently they are both a part.  But "The Bell Curve" it does not seem to be, since they aren't talking about inherent ability differing by group necessarily, but rather traits potentially anyone could adopt, which is why I don't get the controversy.  Except that she has baggage from her last book (which was a bit braggadocios for me, but that's obviously just her personality).

The groups of American they single out are heavily immigrant (big surprise):  Indians (yay!), Iranians, Lebanese-Americans, Mormons, Jews, Cuban exiles, Nigerians, and Chinese-Americans.

 

The three traits they've identified are: superiority complex, insecurity, and impulse control.  

I'm not anything but an honorary member of any of these groups (euromutt/WASP right here), but given my journeys from early childhood with a Jewish step-mother (and hard driving dad to counter my prep mother), Indian immigrant husband (and ex-BF, among other good friends), a stereotypical second-gen Chinese college roommate, and other long term exes who were a Cuban exile and second-gen Lebanese-American, I probably know more than most of the other people commenting on a book that is yet to be released as to what goes into the theory.
 

I'm not sure what they cover in the book, but of those I know in these groups they have a long basically unquestioned cultural heritage of valuing education, excellence, family, discipline and hard work.  There is no coincidence that the two highest earning groups in the U.S. (Jews and Indians) are also those who have the highest educational attainment.  Several of these groups also have a cultural history of persecution, which can be a unique cultural drive (to overcome obstacles, be resilient, etc.) for generations.  Many of these groups are also very insular, as are many immigrant groups, which is not always a good trait, but if they are successful and then look to their own peers to socialize, marry and hire, it is a self perpetuating cycle, even given their small numbers.  The largest of these groups is only a few percent of the total population.

The ability to pair the thought that you can do anything, and well (superiority) paired which the feeling that you aren't ever quite good enough no matter how good you are (insecurity) and a unique (anti-modern American) ability to put off immediate gratification for the long term benefit (impulse control) is a powerful combination that can bring uncommon success.

As the blurb suggests, and as she did in Tiger Mom, they delve into the pros and cons of these traits.  The moral of Tiger Mom is you can have really successful kids if you are strict, but if it doesn't meld with your kid's personality, it can backfire.  She always gives the flip side of her mantra, a bit of an out.  This may be what makes her somewhat palatable, but people still criticize her like crazy.  But she's laughing all the way to the bank...  Looking forward to checking this one out...

What Drives Success? (NYT, 1//25/14)
The Problem with the Triple Package... (The Atlantic, 1/28/14)

Me and The City

One of the gifts DH gave me this year was a weekend in the city (sans stroller, as he put it).  Since this past weekend was a veritable heat wave around these parts, I decided to go ahead and "cash it in" before the New Year.  Why waste time, right?

I got a nice hotel on Hotwire (The Whitehall) and finally booked my massage at The Peninsula.  I wore real clothes, ate at nice restaurants (Fred's, Ralph's, etc) and shopped the north end of the Mile, though I didn't buy much.  I didn't even tell my city friends I was coming in, since the idea was to give my introverted self some breathing room from never being alone.  I haven't done a very good job of meeting my goal of "balance" this year.  Next year will be better...

What some people don't understand about big cities, is they are about carving out your own little space and getting lost in the sea of many.  I love the anonymity.  I read some books (the latest by Malcolm Gladwell and Elizabeth Gilbert, which I recommend) and walked a lot and sat and soaked it all in.  Sometimes you just need to be by yourself (in a city of millions) and trade caregiver for doing nothing much to get back to center.

Enjoying the fireplace at RL...

Happy New Year!  

Eight weeks (on Valentine's Day!)

The babies are getting so big!  Here they are this week modeling their new Hanna Andersson jammies (which they promptly spit up all over)

I have no idea how reliable my measurements are of them (I got a digital scale where I weigh me with and without them in my arms), but they are pushing double digits (as in ten pounds!) and have grown inches since we last had them to the pediatrician.  We go back for their two month visit on Monday for the first time since she got cleared for surpassing her birth weight (at three weeks).  I am so excited!  My teeny tiny babies are no longer so teeny tiny.  He is significantly bigger than her now, just like he always was on the inside, until he went breech.

They are smiling and laughing and are so much more interactive now.  It is so fun to see them come into their little personalities.  They are extremely patient with me when I decide it's time to take their picture.

My step-mother (who is retired from her family's library foundation) got me a pre-release copy of the new book, Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman, at the recent book convention in New Orleans.  In the UK, it was released as, Why French children don't throw food.  Even though I have basically zero time to read now, and have yet to touch a single book on parenting, I am devouring it.  It is really funny besides being an insightful look at just how dysfunctional most American parenting tendencies are.  Who knew we were so European already?  Well, we did.  I highly recommend it.

She also got us a cute children's book called Chopsticks by Amy Krouse Rosenthal.  It is about how the chopsticks always do everything together, but when one gets hurt and has to stay in bed, the other goes out and learns about all the things that he can do by himself.  A very cute book for twins who need to learn about being their own people apart from each other.

It still seems so far off, but I am itching for summer like something awful.  And seeing this cuteness from Pottery Barn Kids has me debating babies at the beach, oui or non?  We shall see...  At least cover them up!

Our new niece finally arrived last week (a few days late, like all her brothers and sister).  Welcome to the world Abigail! :)
Happy Valentine's Day!! :)

Baby books

We've had this one for years, it's good for TTC too, but now, of course, it's the real deal.

Harvard Medical School Guide to Healthy Eating During Pregnancy

DH also picked this one up years ago, and it's an interesting book on handling the changes that come with pregnancy and baby.
Mother Nurture

This one is on it's way (it's been in my Amazon cart for ages), as I just can't wait until I go home for Christmas to peruse what is probably a library of books my sister is offering me. I'm a little partial to the Mayo Clinic since they saved my niece, and have also treated other various family members over the years.

Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy

I'll admit that I just can't put a lot of stock in books written by people whose main qualification is having been pregnant. While that's fine, it doesn't cut it for me. So no thanks to top-seller WTEWYE. And don't even get me started on Miss McCarthy...

On a fun note, I've also had this for several years too...

A World of Baby Names

With all the online resources out there, I'm trying not to overdo it on the books, even though I'm a paper book gal.

But I'm curious what you pregnant ladies out there are reading?

What I'm (re-)reading now

I first read The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri just before I met S. I think we talked about it on our first date. We went to see it in the theater when it came out as a movie, and now it's on HBO all.the.time and we always stop to watch it. It's really good.

And now it was like a guidebook for me on what happens when a Hindu man dies suddenly and his eldest son is left to fulfil his role. I highly recommend the book (and all her others) and the movie, which was directed by Mira Nair (Monsoon Wedding) and stars Kal Penn (of Harold and Kumar fame). And extra points if you recognize his girlfriend Maxine, Jacinda Barrett, from The Real World London.



The Year of Magical Thinking is a memoir by renowned writer Joan Didion as she recounts the awful year when she suddenly lost her husband (renowned writer John Dunne, brother of Dominick) and then later her only child, an adult daughter who tragically succumbs to several illnesses she contracted on her honeymoon. Profoundly felt and expertly written.

And in other book news, my college roommate Michelle's new book, This Won't Hurt a Bit, is now available for pre-order on Amazon.

Cape ready

Last night, I finally noticed that my neglected August Conde Nast Traveler has a great article on sailing Cape Cod and the Islands that pretty much sums up a lot of what I, and myriad others, love about the Cape. "...It has been for centuries—a transcendent refuge full of restorative magic." It also reminded me that I still need to finish reading, Teddy's book, True Compass. (my old boss, circa 1997 :) )

Henry David Thoreau wrote so eloquently about it in his book, Cape Cod, which I of course have and love, and is quoted in the article. From the outer beach of Nauset, “A man may stand there and put all America behind him.”

"...I’ve never experienced a land so varied—at once wild and civilized, open and traditional, lush and spare—so transformative as Cape Cod. If offered a chance to spend the last moments of summer anywhere on earth, I can’t imagine choosing anywhere else."

We leave in 16 days... :)

It's not even out yet

And I'm already pimping my college roommate's book. Here's the cover.

As you can see, she's a doctor (an anesthesiologist) and a mom (to two adorable little boys). She is brilliant and hysterical and super creative. She got her book deal based on her blog she started ten years ago (I think she may have been one of two people blogging ten years ago). I still remember her scrolling away at her comic strips as she juggled all her science and Chinese classes (all while learning to do laundry for the first time-from yours truly). Yay Michelle!

A few summer novels

I picked a few novels for summer reading today...





I'm not a big novel reader, but I love travelogues and these are set in Nantucket and India, respectively. Can't wait to read them!

Committed

So while the world seemingly shut down to celebrate Jesus' resurrection and its predecessor pagan fertility festival (in sadly disproportionate measure), I spent the better part of my Easter weekend finishing Elizabeth Gilbert's latest book "Committed". I was not part of her initial wave of EPL devotees, having bought it in paperback a few years ago and just having finished it finally a few weeks ago, but I am now a huge fan. I didn't realize until recently that she/EPL evoked such ire in some people ("so me, me, me"), but I took it for what it was, a memoir, and enjoyed it immensely.

And unlike the throngs that were expecting her "sequel" to be a continuation of her memoir and were disappointed, I thought it was great. Most modern minded women likely take some pause when stepping into marriage, even without their own nasty divorce in recent memory (for me it was my parent's nearly 30 years ago, and my two sisters' before me). While many women likely can't relate directly to her story as she is set on not having children and can easily support herself, it was an interesting journey through her study of the history of marriage and what it has meant for women through the ages. I recommend it highly.