Tiger Mom strikes again

I just finished "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" (out in early 2011, now in paperback, and a quick and easy read), and I guess I can see why it was so controversial given traditional American parenting styles (which would peg her as crazy and verbally abusive), but it is a satirical memoir, not a parenting handbook.  People take memoirs so seriously.  She (author Amy Chua) has a new book coming out next month which is already making waves.

She and her husband  (fellow Yale law professor, Jed Rubenfeld) have coauthored a book called  "The Triple Package..." about the three traits that they've found (in their research and from other data) make for success.  The "controversial" part of this one is they've singled out particular ethnic/religious/immigrant groups in America who they've found tend to possess these traits, which conveniently they are both a part.  But "The Bell Curve" it does not seem to be, since they aren't talking about inherent ability differing by group necessarily, but rather traits potentially anyone could adopt, which is why I don't get the controversy.  Except that she has baggage from her last book (which was a bit braggadocios for me, but that's obviously just her personality).

The groups of American they single out are heavily immigrant (big surprise):  Indians (yay!), Iranians, Lebanese-Americans, Mormons, Jews, Cuban exiles, Nigerians, and Chinese-Americans.

 

The three traits they've identified are: superiority complex, insecurity, and impulse control.  

I'm not anything but an honorary member of any of these groups (euromutt/WASP right here), but given my journeys from early childhood with a Jewish step-mother (and hard driving dad to counter my prep mother), Indian immigrant husband (and ex-BF, among other good friends), a stereotypical second-gen Chinese college roommate, and other long term exes who were a Cuban exile and second-gen Lebanese-American, I probably know more than most of the other people commenting on a book that is yet to be released as to what goes into the theory.
 

I'm not sure what they cover in the book, but of those I know in these groups they have a long basically unquestioned cultural heritage of valuing education, excellence, family, discipline and hard work.  There is no coincidence that the two highest earning groups in the U.S. (Jews and Indians) are also those who have the highest educational attainment.  Several of these groups also have a cultural history of persecution, which can be a unique cultural drive (to overcome obstacles, be resilient, etc.) for generations.  Many of these groups are also very insular, as are many immigrant groups, which is not always a good trait, but if they are successful and then look to their own peers to socialize, marry and hire, it is a self perpetuating cycle, even given their small numbers.  The largest of these groups is only a few percent of the total population.

The ability to pair the thought that you can do anything, and well (superiority) paired which the feeling that you aren't ever quite good enough no matter how good you are (insecurity) and a unique (anti-modern American) ability to put off immediate gratification for the long term benefit (impulse control) is a powerful combination that can bring uncommon success.

As the blurb suggests, and as she did in Tiger Mom, they delve into the pros and cons of these traits.  The moral of Tiger Mom is you can have really successful kids if you are strict, but if it doesn't meld with your kid's personality, it can backfire.  She always gives the flip side of her mantra, a bit of an out.  This may be what makes her somewhat palatable, but people still criticize her like crazy.  But she's laughing all the way to the bank...  Looking forward to checking this one out...

What Drives Success? (NYT, 1//25/14)
The Problem with the Triple Package... (The Atlantic, 1/28/14)