On working

A long time ago, nearly two years ago now, I wrote about leaving my job in my effort to become a mother. Well next week, I'm going back to work for the first time in nearly two and a half years. When I left way back then, my intention was to do freelance consulting work while we figured out how to build our family, which I did, albeit briefly, until I got pregnant with the twins. Then we took the summer to ourselves, and then I gave up my life in pretty much every respect in hopes of bringing them to term. Then after they were born, I turned down work (and pretty much everything else) to be home with them and breastfeed for their first year, since I decided those were the most important things to me. And then I struggled with whether to go back full time (permanently) or continue to do freelance work. All the time, this has taken a way back seat to being with the kids.

With the summer winding down, I finally just decided to stop turning down work.  I've known for a very long time that I'm not a career mom (where your primary career is to be a mom), though I think I'm pretty good at it and have treasured devoting all my time to my kids.  My first project will last about six weeks, the next about six months, taking me well into next spring. The kids are going to school and I am going back to work. It still sounds weird to say. I hope I remember how to do something other than love, cook, feed, clean, change, play, wash, repeat... 

Once upon a time, I was respected by people who could speak in complete sentences, and who don't crap their pants (though not as loveable), I even out earned my well compensated husband. It is amazing what you'll give up when you can't have a family. Fortunately (and somewhat surprisingly), we can live pretty happily on one salary, but I know enough to know that the longer I'm out of the game, the less relevant and valuable I become, despite my expensive education and many years of diligent experience. And as wonderful (and hard working) as my dear hubby is, I've never wanted to be dependent on anyone else for my own or my/our kids' needs. (see also: not dropping out of college to become a trophy wife) 

So I know everyone has a different take on all of this, but as hard as it is to see the kids grow up and all of us leave the nest, I know that it will be good for all of us, we'll all just need to up our game.  Wish us luck!