21 months old

We're in the last Q to TWO!  Our big news this month, of course, is Alistair finally started walking.  He is becoming more sure on his feet, but still prefers to crawl, which he does at a record pace. He likes to walk for longer distances holding onto one of our hands though.  Baby steps, literally.

I'm puting together a separate post on our series of assessments through early intervention, which have been happening the last few weeks and will wrap up next.  Once everything is finalized, I will share our findings and plan.

 

I finally booked our trip to Boston, for next weekend, and not only is it a dry run for India, it is parents' weekend at the ole alma maters.  I'm super psyched to show the kids around one of my favorite cities, where I spent five crazy years (college plus another), but haven't been back to in over three (a new record dry spell for me).

I've started working on our India trip, and honestly just getting the three of us visas is a huge PITA, oh and $700.  Yikes!  Hopefully we'll get approved for ten year entries.  There really should be an easier process for those related to Indians, don't you think?

We started a new music class, which they seemed to like, though it was a bit like cat herding, and we're starting another new class next week, which should be interesting.  The township library is on break from toddler activities, so we've started going to toddler time at the smaller one in our town.  It is a great group, leader, music and activities.  It really is no comparison.  These are both libraries my sister interned at when she was finishing her masters and lived with us five yrs ago.  We are lucky to have so many great services available for them.

I know I endlessly vacillate on this, but I'm still deciding whether to send the kids to preschool in the new year, when they'll be two.  They will definitely be going next fall when they will be nearly three, but since there are no public options nearby for before 2 1/2, I'm mulling starting them at private ones without the intention of staying or just waiting.  Who knows what we'll be doing in a year?

Seven Year Itch?

From our wedding program...

(ML, a priest, was also married to a Katie, a nun)

DH and I are celebrating our seventh wedding anniversary today. Thankfully, they say the "itch" is a myth, though it could be a three, four, 12, or as in my parents' case, a 14 year itch. I know that's not really a long time, though like looking down at 37 and coming big reunions as I am, I guess it's a turn closer to the next big milestone. We've been together nearly nine, so seven may have been when things got crazy two years ago (a test of wills, if not just a marriage, if there ever was one). We have the kind of relationship where it seems like we've known each other forever (in a good way, of course). 

It has been quite a ride, much of the highs and lows of the last few years chronicled here. We fell quickly, but softly. We bought a house. We got married twice. We've travelled far and wide. We've navigated the immigration system. We started (and are still running) a business. We've changed jobs five times between us. We planned and waited for our family to be whole. We unexpectedly lost a baby and a parent. We've had siblings battle illness, get married, and make us an aunt and uncle (five times over). We've been through the fire to have our twins. We've watched each other become the parents that we knew we could be.

If there is anything that I've learned about marriage, and I'm obviously no expert, is that its success is a lot like other success. Failure can't be an option, for either of you. You have to show up, and give your all, and then some more, but it can't be a chore.

We know we are lucky.  We like and love each other still, and even more.  There isn't a piece of my family (grandparents, parents, aunt/uncles, sisters, cousins) and increasingly our friends who are unscarred by divorce. We found each other, the right other, at the right time (after much time), looking for just the right things. And when things get tough, especially when they do, we want the other right there by our side. I hope that we get to celebrate many many more together.  Love you babe.
 

And, in case you haven't heard the new wedding song of the year/decade, which I love...  The acoustic version .  DH and I are also a fan of this one too... Happy Monday! :)

My favorite time of the year

via

As much as I adore summer, it's really all about fall for me.  September especially, which I know falls mostly in summer officially.  Back to school (the last time).  Our anniversary.  My birthday.  The leaves start changing. Leaf peeping is upon us.  There is crispness in the air.  Apple and then later pumpkin picking.  Getting the sweaters, vests, long pants, and, if you are really lucky, boots out of the closet. 

Though a few years ago, I was about to banish this as my time of year.  Two years ago last week, we almost lost our twins (last year's PSA).  Three years ago, my sister was dx w/cancer and we lost my FIL.  Yesterday was the anniversary of his passing and seeing as it is grandparent's week (as it is every year this week), the story time at the library was all books about grandparents, well mostly grandpas.  The twins are lucky and still have two of those (from my side), but we still feel Ratan's absence, though he lived very far away.  DH's is a tight knit small immediate (though huge extended) family, though we've doubled in size since his dad passed.

And of course, there is always 9.11.

The quote above from FS(K)F is a really great one (which isn't a big surprise, he is one of my all time favorites, and I think soul mate since we share a birthday, be they 80 years apart).  It reminds me that instead of it being a time of year where things are just starting to die and go into hibernation (which is certainly the case), it is really a time of renewal, when you get a chance to start all over again...

One of my favorite songs... (ah, the clothes of the 70's...)  Happy Friday the 13th and weekend!

Change of plans

As I mentioned last week, our first foray into full time outside childcare was not a huge success, even with all the thought, research and preparation that went into it. Yes, the kids seemed to have a good time (though they were exhausted) and their teachers reported that they did very well (even with food and nap times, which is what I was most concerned about logistically). But... We got very sick, though I don't know if that was entirely their fault, though it was a wake up call/reminder that this will be our new reality, and Mari got some sort of rash, that we have now cleared up. Oh, and the client delayed the project start. A series of omens, I figured.

Now that I am just starting to feel human again, though the decision was made several days ago, we are delaying our venture into our new life until I find a full time job I really want, and I find a nanny that I really like for the kids (both of which hopefully occurring in a symbiotic timeframe), as committing to full time school (where they can't go if they are sick, which they will be more often), while committing to consulting work (where I have less flexibility and don't get paid if I'm not working), probably doesn't make a lot of sense unless my primarily goal was to be away from my kids (by having a back up sitter), in the most complicated fashion possible. I have no desire/need to hire help with them if I'm not working, that money is already going to beef up their college funds. And honestly with the likely therapy that Alistair will need, and the other things we have going on (planning/going to India, etc.), we have some time sensitive things that take priority.

So we are going to continue/start up some new activities for fall and see where things go. They love going to play at the gym (my most regular adult activity), music, art, and play class, and the library activities. I just discovered that there are private offerings of (non-competitive) soccer for kids this age. Crazy, right? That should be good for them too.

Hamptons Designer Showhouse 2013

Since it is closing today, I figured it was time to finally post about the Hamptons Designer Show house.  I had wanted to go the last time we were in the Hamptons, but we didn't have a lot of extra time and I felt like a heel leaving DH to fend for himself.  This time, since everyone could/needed to nap and I could run up there and no one would really miss me, I went for it. 

It was a very nice house, as they always are, spec houses that always sell for big money.  But unlike most parade/tour homes, where it is really about the house (and the builder), or like the recent green home tour I went on in Chicago (which was all about the ways to build/live green), this was really all about the designers.

They chose designers for each individual space, some 30 in all, and they all seemingly work in a vacuum, so nothing really goes together, which makes for an odd compilation in general.  The point of these homes is to get the designers publicity and new clients, and to benefit Southampton Hospital, which I understand and support.  But that is my main complaint that it isn't really about the entire presentation, just each room to themselves.  I wondered if they pulled each and every thing out when they sell it, and I guess they have a charity auction at the end of the summer to get rid of the furnishings.

Anywho, I brought my big camera along but left it in the car, so these are all just iPhone pics.

I have to say that I thought the outdoor spaces were the real stars of the house.  That and the master suite (and maybe the butler's pantry) are all that were really notable in my opinion.  The house was a traditional Hamptons shingle style house on a deep interior lot, just outside of Sag Harbor.

Some shots from around the side porch...  So colonial, love it!

The backyard had a large pool and terraced tennis court beyond it and that hedge row...  (rough living, right?)

From the tennis court, looking back at the house

A bit overdone, but I loved this one too... (the curtained one off to the right, from above)

And the porches off the back...

And then inside... the butler's pantry, which is really all about that Scalamandre zebra wallpaper

I liked that they had double machines in the 2nd floor laundry room (the only one), but the room was so small.  But I guess that's either the maid's problem or you just send out the stuff when you live in a 7BD/7+BA in the Hamptons, eh?

Loved the master, though I didn't take that many good pics.  It was designed by society designer Celerie Kemble, and she did a very nice job.  Loved the custom bed linens...

Can we agree that every master bathroom should have his and hers WCs?  Brilliant.

The master bath was amazing, if a bit overdone.  Does it really need to be the size of a ballroom?  The suite also had an office and two sitting rooms, in addition to a double sided fireplace.

Loved the mosaic floor work

The kitchen was meh.  I'm not sure how they get away with making it so small in a house this big.

Informal eating room off of the keeping room/kitchen

Most of the other bedrooms (7 total, all en suite, 5 up, 1 main, 1 down) and living/dining rooms were not very interesting, but I liked that they had two story entry and living room.  Since we have these too, I'm partial...  Au revoir!

September, really?

Our big news for the new month is we have a shuffler!  Alistair has taken a few shuffling steps the last few days, and four more today, so I guess calling and meeting with EI worked. ;). We'll likely have the therapists come for the assessments anyway though.  But we are so proud of him!

It has been a rough few days around here.  The kids had a "practice" day at school late last week, and now Mari and I are battling some kind of debilitating flu-like something, so that has me doubting everything.  Tuesday is definitely not happening, not sure about the rest of the week, we shall see.

Hope you and yours are having a great long Labor Day weekend!

On working

A long time ago, nearly two years ago now, I wrote about leaving my job in my effort to become a mother. Well next week, I'm going back to work for the first time in nearly two and a half years. When I left way back then, my intention was to do freelance consulting work while we figured out how to build our family, which I did, albeit briefly, until I got pregnant with the twins. Then we took the summer to ourselves, and then I gave up my life in pretty much every respect in hopes of bringing them to term. Then after they were born, I turned down work (and pretty much everything else) to be home with them and breastfeed for their first year, since I decided those were the most important things to me. And then I struggled with whether to go back full time (permanently) or continue to do freelance work. All the time, this has taken a way back seat to being with the kids.

With the summer winding down, I finally just decided to stop turning down work.  I've known for a very long time that I'm not a career mom (where your primary career is to be a mom), though I think I'm pretty good at it and have treasured devoting all my time to my kids.  My first project will last about six weeks, the next about six months, taking me well into next spring. The kids are going to school and I am going back to work. It still sounds weird to say. I hope I remember how to do something other than love, cook, feed, clean, change, play, wash, repeat... 

Once upon a time, I was respected by people who could speak in complete sentences, and who don't crap their pants (though not as loveable), I even out earned my well compensated husband. It is amazing what you'll give up when you can't have a family. Fortunately (and somewhat surprisingly), we can live pretty happily on one salary, but I know enough to know that the longer I'm out of the game, the less relevant and valuable I become, despite my expensive education and many years of diligent experience. And as wonderful (and hard working) as my dear hubby is, I've never wanted to be dependent on anyone else for my own or my/our kids' needs. (see also: not dropping out of college to become a trophy wife) 

So I know everyone has a different take on all of this, but as hard as it is to see the kids grow up and all of us leave the nest, I know that it will be good for all of us, we'll all just need to up our game.  Wish us luck!