We finally have a plan

So after much discussion, I think we finally have a plan to move forward. It couldn't come at a better time. Instead of focusing on the week that would have been and our much awaited first big pregnancy announcement that will never be, I'm trying to focus on what's coming next.

When my body gets back in the game (hopefully my hCG next week will be <2 and AF will not be far behind), and we can schedule my first in-office hysteroscopy (my 3 have all been @ a hospital) and then we will do a FET ASAP with our two frozen embryos w/our current clinic.

We finally decided against moving on to a fresh cycle with them (via shared risk) for a whole host of reasons that outweighed the benefits for us, including: the upfront OOP cost ($16K + monitoring + meds), the likelihood that we will not stay with (and didn't want to be tied to) this RE beyond this cycle based on our WTF, and that I don't know if I even want to do up to three more fresh cycles and any applicable FETs before moving on (DH certainly doesn't think we should).

Hopefully our m/c was just bad luck (or caused by something that can be corrected w/another hysteroscopy) and since we can get pg, dare I say, "easily" (like two years and an IVF later easily) that we can again. My RE said that he has no reason to think that we will not have children, but as my acupuncturist said we've just been chosen for a long and difficult road.

If the FET doesn't work or heaven forbid we m/c again, DH is already in talks with his employer to see if they will give us some additional coverage for IF (since we'll have exhausted the rest of our $15K lifetime max w/the FET) as they are self-insured. Fortunately, he has one of his bosses (an IF, IVF, m/c, and now adoption vet) to back him up, and you'd think it wouldn't be that big a deal since it's just a write-off for them, but we are not banking on this. I am also looking for a new job with nice fat IF bennies. Then we would likely get more testing and find yet another clinic (closer to wherever I'm working) to cycle again.

No one should have to mortgage their future for the shot at having a family, and while that is the reality of the current environment, I am certainly not above gaming the system for our benefit. We live in a mandate state for crying out loud (though neither of our employers are subject to it, they are both self-insured), and the last job I turned down (in Boston) before I accepted my current one had amazing IF benefits, before we knew we needed them. So even with this economy, hopefully it won't be impossible. But I've still got to stay on here as part of my indentured servitude until at least the end of March.